Dialectical Observations (Remastered)

This has been a somewhat laborious project, three months in the making. It started with an album intended to bring my label (ex-label?), Rehegoo Music, up to speed on my discography: Legends of the Small collected eight tracks each from the albums Dialectical Observations and Pattern Recognition. To make it a little extra special, and to give Rehegoo some exclusive content, I remastered six of the songs from Dialectical. I was disappointed to find out that the label wanted only exclusive content, and would not be publishing Legends. I decided to make the album an exclusive Patreon patron reward. But I still wanted a way to share those six remastered songs.

I thought of inserting them in an upcoming album, where they would be piled on top of the eight new songs I already had at the time. There was also the possibility of releasing them on their own EP, which would be called The Dialectical Sessions; I made a cover and everything.

But then the most logical conclusion arrived: I thought, "Hey, I've already remastered six songs from a nine-track album. Why not just remaster the remaining three?" for a remastered edition of the whole album.

I'd thought of releasing an EP of new songs on the Winter Solstice, but in the end, I wanted to reserve them for a full-length album and keep them close to my vest. But I could still put out something on what to me is a special day to me: it's my winter holiday, one I should be celebrating at Short Mountain with the Radical Faeries. But I can't drive that far in my condition, and I lack the funds to travel anyway. Still, I can celebrate in my own way. With music! So I set that date to release the remastered edition of Dialectical Observations. In between writing new songs, I worked on remastering the remaining three songs. I'm very happy with all of them, but I'm especially fond of the new "Movement (Alternate Spin)".

For "Movement," I ended up returning to the original project file. I removed a whole synth track that wasn't really clearly defined and I thought just muddied up the song. Then I combed through each track and repositioned notes where I felt it was necessary, and I started over the remastering process from the beginning. With the other songs, I made adjustments according to the originals' final MP3 320s. For this, I went from project file to AIF on headphones, to AIF on external speakers, to MP3 on headphones, and finishing with MP3 on external speakers. It was tedious, but the result is that each instrument is clearly distinguishable and not muddied up by too much bass. Actually, with each song I turned down the bass in favor of treble, and often added more ringing reverb. I also turned down the drum tracks so they didn't take away the focus from the other instruments.

I won't review the inspiration and stories behind each song, as you can already read all about it in the article for the original version of the album. But I will say the original has done me proud. "Fleeting Fractals" ended up being kind of a "sleeper hit," but it eventually made its radio rounds and continues to be in rotation on some stations. It was used to represent the album in the review by Starlight Music Chronicles. And it's been Shazamed a number of times. Right now, "When Anchorage Became an Island," is my most-played song on Apple Music. On Bandcamp, it's my album with the most Facebook Likes, even more than albums by artists whom I consider superior and are inspirations for me. I can only hope that this remastered edition garners as much attention and that people agree with me that the remastered songs are an improvement.

Now, you may have noticed that the Snail Tunes edition of the album above is twelve tracks instead of the original nine. I'd thought of releasing an EP called Pulses Intertwined of four new songs, named for the song "Pulses Intertwined," which had made its radio rounds shortly after the release of Pattern Recognition. That was originally planned for the December 21st release date. Instead, I released "Pulses" as a single on another significant date, November 30th. I was trying to hold out on exposing the other songs planned for the Pulses EP, but here are three of them as bonus tracks on this exclusive version of the EP. Unfortunately, they are not available for individual download; you have to download the entire album.

When I had been writing mostly-acoustic soundtrack-like songs, "Pulses Intertwined" pulled me back into a more post-industrial mode of songwriting. That became a trend with "Pierced Heart," and "Dark Highways" to a lesser extent. These songs demanded more synths, but were relatively minimalist, and "Pulses" and "Pierced" called for electric guitars. This was a style of songwriting I hadn't really explored for over a year. Pattern Recognition and many of the following songs are in a more neoclassical ambient-acoustic style. Dialectical Observations was one of my first steps in the neoclassical direction, but was full of odd beats, abrasive synths, and electric guitars. "Pulses Intertwined," "Pierced Heart," and "Dark Highways" are somewhat in the same vein, and I thought they'd fit in well with Dialectical Observations, so I'm making them publicly available a little sooner than a full-length album. Still, they are exclusive to the Snail Tunes version of Dialectical Observations (Remastered).

I had a bit of difficulty in getting this album submitted to stores and streaming platforms. My distributor recommended the title format for the songs to have versions defined by parentheses, and any more specifications in brackets, so some of the titles looked like this: "Movement (Alternate Spin) [Remastered 2018]". I thought that looked a lot messier than "Movement (Alternate Spin) - Remastered 2018," but I went with their recommendation. It was rejected by stores, which I was informed of a week after first submitting the album. With only a week left before the release date, I decided to make it as simple as possible: I just went with simple song-titles-only with the album title defining it as "Remastered," and I hoped the album title would speak for the songs themselves. But you'll notice above that the Snail Tunes version has each song marked as "Remastered 2018," which I had wanted for the songs at each store and streaming platform. But when submitting it, it seemed simpler was better. And even though I submitted it to my distributor with only a week to go, it was still released at Amazon, Google Play, iTunes and Apple Music, Spotify, TIDAL, Deezer, YouTube, iHeartRadio, and Napster at midnight on the Winter Solstice, as I had been hoping. So, yeah, I think simpler was better, when getting the album released on time.

Now I'll leave you with something extra special, as usual. My step-father challenged me to write a score for Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem "Ulysses," to see how well I could write a soundtrack for something. This is what I came up with, with building cymbals and twinkling acoustic guitar to reflect the mariner metaphors in the poem. It was a return to the piano for me, but there are string arrangements, that first come in swells and bursts as the ocean waves. I thought of having a voiceover of the poem in this, but instead I'm leaving it to the reader to listen to this simultaneously. Give it a try! Just Google the poem and play this tune.

This started the trend of more soundtrack-like pieces I started composing, before "Pulses Intertwined" interrupted and took me in a more post-industrial direction. That's a continuing trend right now, though my latest composition, "Elation," sounds almost as if it belongs on Pattern Recognition, except it has some very metal interludes.

I hope you enjoy this little bonus song, and the remastered edition of Dialectical Observations. Until later, may your inner snails remain resilient and determined.

Legends of the Small and Pulses Intertwined

It's been a long time since I've written, and this article has been delayed, especially on the subject of Legends of the Small. So close on the heels of Pattern Recognition, I decided to make a compilation album for my label, Rehegoo Music, that would catch them up on my repertoire, with the goal of publishing it on Halloween. It would collect songs from Dialectical Observations and Pattern Recognition. It turned out to have eight songs from each. To make it extra special, I even remastered six of the songs from Dialectical Observations. The track list turned out thusly:

01. When Anchorage Became an Island - Remastered 2018

02. Man Seeking Cocoon (for NSA LTR) - Remastered 2018

03. Familial Germs - Remastered 2018

04. Gravity Time Power Love

05. Android with a God Complex

06. Fleeting Fractals - 2018

07. Otaku

08. Revel

09. Less Sinister Cousins - Remastered 2018

10. Heart of Hearts

11. Signor Fancypants

12. Movement (Alternate Spin) - Remastered 2018

13. Why Can't We Have Nice Things?

14. Butterflies on Ganymede

15. Reciprocal

16. Probing

I was very proud of how the track ordering turned out. I was very proud of the remastered songs, hoping they demonstrated my growth as a sound technician, and I was especially proud of how "Movement" turned out - I started over from scratch with that song, whereas the others I just adjusted the levels of the individual instrument tracks: volume, bass, treble, echo, reverb - that sort of thing. With "Movement," I combed through each track and adjusted the positions of certain notes, took out a synth all together, and adjusted the levels in my composing program, then as an AIF, then as an MP3. It was tedious, but definitely worth it, in my opinion. These remastered tracks would be exclusive to Rehegoo Music, and I thought they'd bite.

However, Rehegoo didn't want to publish any songs that had been published before, such as they did with Nothing Left To Lose, Parts 1 and 2, and even went as far as asking me to take down all of my previous works. I felt they were backing me, a non-exclusive artist, into an exclusivity corner. I made my stance clear, that I had worked too hard on my prior EPs and albums, and they said they understood. But suffice to say, they did not publish Legends of the Small.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. First, I emailed them the ZIP of Legends a couple of weeks before Halloween, and it wasn't downloaded. It turned out my contact was out of the office, and wouldn't be back until a couple of days before Halloween. When he returned, he told me there was no way they could publish it by then. But I had my heart set on Halloween, so I published it at my Patreon, hoping that Rehegoo would make it public later on - I really wanted those remastered tracks to be publicly available. Now, because Rehegoo has rejected it, it's exclusive to my Patreon. If you want to download a copy, you'll have to make the appropriate pledge. Remember that I don't collect pledges until I put out an EP or album, and you also get that release. I'm thinking the next one won't be until the Lunar New Year in February.

Now, I still really wanted to make those remastered tracks publicly available, so what to do? I toyed around with the idea of releasing them on an EP of their own, titled The Dialectical Sessions. I also thought of including them on the next album. Then I decided to go all-out and remaster the three remaining songs, and release a completely remastered edition of Dialectical Observations. So that's what I've been most recently working on. It'll be out on the Winter Solstice.

Since cementing the track list for Pattern Recognition, and amidst the remastering of songs for Legends of the Small, I'd been working on new songs, and now have a total of eight toward a new album. At a challenge from my step-dad to create a soundtrack to the Tennyson poem "Ulysses," I created something a bit different than before, and it's carried on in a lot of my recent work - neoclassical compositions more fitting for a soundtrack than a rock album. It's also carried over from the mostly strings arrangements of Pattern Recognition and the more neoclassical feel of both Dialectical and Pattern, except these songs have been largely acoustic. Then I wrote "Pulses Intertwined."

It was a definite switch from the material I'd been writing. Yes, I'd switched from the strings arrangements of Pattern back to the piano, but this brought me back to post-industrial territory, which I'd left for about a year. This felt in the same vein as "Fleeting Fractals," though it was more akin to "The Cloud Walkers." Actually, I felt it could be my next "Cloud Walkers," a piano-led post-industrial epic with metal and EDM elements. When I was promoting for Pattern, I felt I should send in "Android with a God Complex" to radio stations. Instead, on an impulse, I sent around "Pulses." They all played it, including stations that I had submitted to in the past and had never played my music before. I was uplifted, encouraged, and felt this could be my next popular song. After circulating for a while, I felt it should really be publicly accessible, and it seemed appropriate to release it as a single.

I chose November 30th for its release because it's a significant day for me: my brother shot and killed my father and step-mother twenty-three years ago. It still has quite an effect on me. This year, I was alone and isolated, out in the middle of nowhere while I was housesitting, and it felt like I cried for two days straight. I wanted to do something musically oriented to help me cope, though it didn't help much. Instead, I found myself trapped in my head, and dwelling on certain factors. My brother grew up fetishizing machines of death - guns and military equipment. He came to fantasize that he was a paramilitary soldier, and wanted me to be the same. He was abusive to "discipline" me. Meanwhile, he collected guns and ammo and military-oriented magazines. I'll admit, he was a disturbed individual - he was abusive in other ways. But I don't think his interests in guns and the military helped matters. And when he was sixteen, angry at my father for leaving our mother, and not getting along with my step-mother, he killed them. This event has informed my stance on gun control, especially when guns are so accessible to the mentally disturbed, which has resulted in so many mass shootings.

In my current environment, I've come to realize that not all individuals with such interests are mentally unhealthy. My step-father collects guns and keeps them in the house, and often watches documentaries on war and military machines. Hell, it seems almost as if everyone in Missouri has a gun. But the overproduction of guns - especially assault weapons whose entire purpose is to kill people - in this country disturbs me. We have more guns manufactured than children born in the United States every day. It makes me want to move to another country or, at the very least, another state. My goal is to move back to the Pacific Northwest, but for the meantime, because of certain factors, I'm stuck in Missouri, as an advocate of greater gun control, as much as it's opposed by those around me.

I have released the single Pulses Intertwined in dedication of victims and survivors of gun violence. It is now available at Amazon, Google Play, Apple Music and iTunes, Spotify, TIDAL, Deezer, YouTube and YouTube Music, iHeartRadio, and Napster. If you'd like to directly support me and my art, consider buying the single at my Snail Tunes store. Purchases include high-quality downloads in a format of your choosing - from standard MP3 to lossless audio - as well as unlimited streaming at Bandcamp and on the free-with-purchase Bandcamp app (both of which are great tools for discovering new or overlooked music). A three-track version, with two new songs in a similar vein, "Dark Highways" and "Pierced Heart," is also available to Patrons of my Patreon. Remember, pledges at my Patreon aren't collected until after I release a new EP or album, which I'm predicting won't be until February. And Dialectical Observations (Remastered) is now slated to be a reward for those pledging $10 USD or more.

I'd like to switch gears to discuss record labels, as mine just sent me two new contracts. When Legends of the Small was released, I was informed that Rehegoo Music would only be taking new songs, exclusively, and that non-exclusive artists, such as myself, would only be featured on the Rehegoo streaming platform. They've changed their policies drastically since I signed my initial contract. And the new contracts are designed to further diminish the advantages of being a non-exclusive artist and direct me toward exclusivity. I'm seeing no advantages to publishing through them under my current contract, and I'm wondering why I would send them any songs. My distributor that I currently publish independently through even offers more stores and streaming platforms. I'm thinking it's time I cut off my relationship with Rehegoo Music. This first experiment with a label, which I was reticent about in the first place, seems to be a failure. It doesn't mean I'm closed off to working with a label in the future, but right now I'm leaning toward the advice of Amanda Palmer: "Don't!" Anyway, I've promised to share with you my experiences as an independent artist, and this is looking to be a bad one.

Meanwhile, my inner snail must remain resilient and determined. I hope yours does the same.

Oh, I almost forgot to leave you with a little something special! Here's one my newest songs, "Pierced Heart," one of the two additional tracks on the extended Pulses Intertwined available at my Patreon. Enjoy! and good-bye for now.

Pattern Recognition

Today was the first day I had to wear a hoodie to smoke and read outside, signaling that Summer has truly ended and Fall is here. And it has been nearly fourteen months since my last full-length album, Dialectical Observations. It used to be that I released albums and EPs at a steady clip, even full-length albums multiple times a year, but now I spend more time with my songs, mostly more time in the editing process. I don't just fire out rough drafts and then alter them later on with a string of Alternate Spins; I try to publish only final drafts. Sometimes I'll try something different later, but I'd like to think of every song as solid before I put it out there. And that translates to the EPs and albums. Everything is much more deliberate, and so the steps to this albums, Neoclassism and With Love, Catatonia, were also far apart.

I try to release my works on dates of significant importance to me. Neoclassism was on the anniversary of my debut EP; With Love, Catatonia was on my brother's birthday. First I was hoping to release this album on the anniversary of Dialectical Observations, but that wasn't at all likely; I needed at least another month. So I hoped to have it out on my birthday, August 31st. That also seemed unlikely, but as it turned out, I could have. However, I had already announced the September 21st release date. Why September 21st? Because that was the first date to pop into my head. Not for any special reason, it was just my first thought, and it gave me the breathing room that I've come to desire surrounding my releases. It gives me more time to spend with them, to make last-minute changes, to really focus on the editing process. But I didn't do much editing following my birthday. I listened to it what seemed like hundreds of times, and I hardly changed a thing. It seemed solid. I was confident of it. And I'm happy with the final product, and very happy to share it.

The reasons it took so long to compose aren't limited to a more deliberate songwriting process; I also have had less time to devote to music. This is a good thing. I'm more able-bodied than I've been in a long time. When I started self-publishing music, I was largely couch-bound following an intense hospitalization, and I felt like I had nothing left to lose, and there was nothing for it - why not put my art out there? And that started the ball rolling on what I hoped to be a career as a solo composer. I've turned it into a career - it's my real work. Everything else is secondary. But there is now more to my life than this. Foremost is that I'm able to help out around a small "farm," lending my septuagenarian parents a hand. I'm still adjusting and desensitizing to a severe case of neuropathy; I can't take walking for granted and my hands are destroyed by simple labor. Earlier I was weeding the vegetable garden, and now it hurts to type slowly. But I can do it, and that's the important thing. It means I probably don't have a future as a performing musician, but I can compose, and I love it.

For this album, I composed five all-new, original tunes. First among them was "Android with a God Complex," stemming from a half-finished song that I'd been blocked on for quite a while. I started it even before writing With Love, Catatonia, maybe even before Neoclassism. I mean, it goes way back. I'd recorded an intro, strings arrangements, an acoustic guitar line, and some wild beats, all of which I loved. But I couldn't figure out what to do next, and I was stuck on the bass line. I couldn't write one that fit. And it wasn't until I gave up on it that the song started to move forward. I quit banging my head against that wall and discovered what came next by experimenting with some synths. There was already a clearly electronic whine going through it all, but in absence of a bass riff, I added in some buzzing bass synth, which has admittedly become a favorite of mine, and you'll find it in others of my recent songs. But with that and my recurring electronic soprano "vocals," I found an interim that allowed for further variations of the strings arrangements and acoustic guitar that I'd already written. And the vocals take center stage for a moment, as does some electric guitar, and I had the pieces of a whole song that just needed some further accompaniment, some editing, and some rearranging.

When naming this song, I tried a couple titles inspired by the strings arrangements, such as "Tetrarchy" (in reference to the string quartet and its focus of the overall tune) but I'd jotted down "Android with a God Complex" as a thought for a song title a while ago. I'd really been wanting to use it, and it seemed drawn to this song. Ir had seemed more appropriate that the title be used for something a bit more electronic, but I finally gave in. The electronics underscoring the more organic sounds, and momentarily take center stage, seemed appropriate enough to suggest an anthropomorphic artificial intelligence.

I should mention that the title was originally inspired by the character David in the films Prometheus and Alien: Covenant.

Now, I'd also had this beat I'd composed that I loved - some banging around with some clinking and clanging on my "Chinese" drum kit - but was having a hard time accompanying it with anything more. I'd tried some synths inspired after what I'd used in "The Tranquil Isles," overlaid with either strings and electric guitar, or piano, and named them "Blame the Meds," with different versions. The title was attached to the beats; the versions were various failed attempts. I say "failed" because I never really wanted to share them. At best, they'd be rarities available to Patreon patrons. But I wasn't too enamored with them.

Fast forward to a time when I had a simple acoustic guitar riff stuck in my head that I recorded, then dicked around with. My "vocals" made a return, and organically transitioned to a flowing cello. I harmonized with it, then layered them all together for a finale, and I had a whole song written, though very minimalist. I felt compelled to add further tracks of instrumentation, but didn't know what, really. Something rhythmic. I already had some subtle rhythmic synths in there, but I wanted something that suggested a beat. But I wasn't sure I really wanted a beat; maybe something a bit more eccentric, for an already eccentric song. That's when it hit me - a random whim to try the "Blame the Meds" beats underneath. So I did, and wha'd'ya know? It worked perfectly. But this wasn't going to be another "Blame the Meds." No, it was going to be "A Neon Blue Soul."

When I felt the album deserved a piano intro, I thought of a short, melancholy piano ditty I'd recorded one night. What should follow? Well, it seemed that segueing into that eccentric beat was the way to go. So "The Lonely Pianist" (as my melancholy ditty came to be known) and "Neon Blue" stuck as the way to kick off the album.

"Heart of Hearts" was one of those songs that seemed to come all at once, and was written in a very short time. So was "Probing." They just sort of flooded out, starting out with riffs that got stuck in my head, both on keys (though I switched "Heart"s' keys to a "strings" synth), and every accompaniment and next movement, every progression, came organically and almost immediately. Of course, I spent a lot of time editing each, but the rough drafts came quickly. And the titles kind of just popped into my head.

I knew "Power Time Gravity Love" wouldn't be included on the album unless I made some changes, so I devoted some time to closely reexamining it. I edited some of the beats. I tried rewriting some of the viola and violin. Nothing impressed me. Nothing was really working. So I said "to hell with it" and scrapped everything but the cello and synths. It was time for a complete overhaul. I started from scratch on the beats, and it was upon doing that, and letting the first iteration of the cello melody be solo, that things started to come together. The new beats started off inspired by the old, but then I found myself inspired by both "The Last Waltz" and "Winter's Salve (Siren's Call)." I went with something that was a bit hip-hoppy and also a bit of a march. I was really into it. And as I wrote it, I also made another go at the viola and violin, and they just sort of occurred to me. It was like, once I got on a roll, everything started to finally come together!

What I ended up with, I didn't want to simply call an "Alternate Spin," because I had, like, 75% new material. No, I transposed two words in the title to signify that it was almost a different entity - and "Gravity Time Power Love" was assembled and just awaiting the editing process, which was somewhat grueling (I went through about nine drafts) but, I think, worth it.

"Misplaced Romanticism" always had some uncertainties, but I really wanted it on the album. There was an alternate way I was hearing the cello in my head, and I thought it worked as well as the other, so I went ahead and recorded it to share it. I was really uncertain of the viola part. I played around with it and played around with it, until I landed on something that worked for me. Now, I won't say this version of the song is better than the original. It's just...different. Different enough to warrant the "Alternate Spin" qualifier.

I knew I wanted bonus tracks, presumably for the Patreon Artist's Edition. I didn't know if I'd have new songs ready by the publication date. I did, however, have ideas on alternate song versions to share. I'd already recorded "The Lonely Pianist" with some simple swelling-and-fading cello, inspired by a recent listen to the Felina (or Felina's Arrow) album Let Me Tell You a Story, but I'd done away with it for the album intro. It seemed like something that should be heard, so I tacked it on at the end. More inspired was the idea to try out a stripped-down version of "Why Can't We Have Nice Things?" The piano alone could make for a complete, well-rounded song, but I was going for just an "acoustic" version. I initially cut out everything but the piano and strings tracks, then played around with what else should be included. The acoustic guitar chords worked, adding the right emphasis to the beginning of the song, at the very least. Even the riff in the second half worked, helping build toward the climax. The bassoon was out - too intrusive. The bowed bass worked well enough, and subtly enough, to provide its emphasis. The synths took away from the acoustic feel, even though the electric bass somehow didn't. I did let a synth in at the end, though. It was subtle enough, and helped with the eerie quality closing the song.

Feeling completely enamored with this "Naked" version of "Why Can't We Have Nice Things?" I really wanted to share it, and so decided that an exclusive Snail Tunes version at my Bandcamp store should be available, with "Nice Things? (Naked)" and "The Lonely Pianist (and Cellist)" as bonus tracks at the end. That way they'd be publicly available, instead of limited to Patreon Patrons - people can even stream them a limited number of times at Bandcamp, to sample them. 

I did have a few songs flood out of me during the month I gave myself to let the album matriculate, and so I had additional bonus tracks for my Patreon Artist's Edition. Those I included are a piano-led post-industrial rush reminiscent of "The Cloud Walkers," called "Pulses Intertwined;" and a simple, relaxing series of iterations of a piano melody, with some ambient synths, I call "Toes." See, I had started another song I called "Twinkle" and so jokingly called this song "Toes," but the name just stuck as it grew on me.

The Patreon Artist's Edition also has the usual individual track art, this time - yet again - from works by Cyril Rolando. The Artist's Edition, with a PDF booklet of album art and liner notes, is now a pledge reward for patrons of my Patreon.

I had the title of this album picked out pretty early on. I had already moved on from cognitive behavioral therapy to dialectical behavioral therapy in the mental health department, and I didn't really know where to go from there, but looking back on it, pattern recognition is a cognitive function, and sort of fits with the theme I've been going with for album names. Still, pattern recognition spans a large array of subjects, and it's just a concept that fascinates me. But I have to admit, the name mostly comes from my favorite William Gibson novel, and it's mostly an homage to one of my favorite authors.

Pattern Recognition is now available at YouTube Music, Spotify, Google Play, Apple Music and iTunes, Amazon, iHeartRadio, Napster, Deezer, TIDAL, and probably others I'm not aware of (my distributor has a huge list of stores and streaming platforms it submits to).

Okay, I've been listening to the album again as a bit of a refresher, first while writing my last Facebook and Google Plus posts for the day, and now as I've been finishing up this article. And the album's just about done - actually, "Pulses Intertwined" just started, so I won't be able to close my computer until that song (which is still fresh, and I'm currently addicted to) is over. But I'm going to consider this blog article done. I hope you all enjoy the album. It's been a pleasure to work on, even a pleasure to listen to hundreds of times, and I hope you'll listen to it again and again, as well. Until next time, may your inner snails remain resilient and determined!

P.S. I almost forgot to leave you with a special exclusive! Here's one of my new songs, which can be downloaded by Patreon Patrons. Enjoy!

Nothing Left To Lose, Part Two

It's a sunny, beautiful Sunday, and even though it's almost brutally hot, I'm working outside, waiting for the coffee to finish brewing. Last night, I opened a tab to "new post" here, so that I would stop forgetting to write this article. It's been a while in coming, as I was thwarted in publishing this album at my store by a dead computer in need of a new charger, and now it's been a few days - like a week - since I got it up there. I've also been struggling with a lack of motivation. There was quite a while after With Love, Catatonia during which I wasn't even writing new music; normally, I'd have songs lined up even while promoting for a new EP or album. The songs have been slow in coming these days. I am, however, starting to diligently make it a practice that I'll work on music every day, no matter what aspect. Even writing this article counts (posting on social media, however, does not). Originally it was a goal to have a new full-length album ready for publication by July 30th, the anniversary of Elemental and Dialectical Observations. Now I've pushed it back to the more likely and looser time period of sometime-this-winter.

This album was also a little slow in coming. To be frank I'm not that impressed with my new label, Rehegoo, so far. I'm sticking with it because I want the full experience (and if there's a chance of licensing my music to a third party, then it might be worth it) but I've yet to see much in the way of promotion for Nothing Left To Lose, Part One and I had to get on their ass to get Part Two published. However, they have put both "The Seventh Swan" and "Wrong Pocket Kinda Day" - both from this half of the album, somewhat ironically - on compilation albums that, from what I can see, has totally boosted the awareness of those songs, and in turn, my music.

So, to get you up to speed: Nothing Left To Lose has been a long time gestating, from my very first EP. The track list has been tested in some form or other, mostly on my Patreon patrons, over the past three years. I finally drew a line in the sand as to what could be included after the EP Elemental, focusing mainly on the essentials from my first five albums, and I decided it needed to be limited to twenty tracks - a difficult feat, as I had produced somewhere over a hundred songs. But a demo was locked into place for a good while, and I was waiting for some occasion to publish it. I'd hoped to put it out on physical media, like CDs and vinyl. I'm still a ways off from my being able to fund that independently. But hey, I'm no longer entirely independent! I decided signing on with a label was just the catalyst needed for publication.

Without planning to, it seems I put most of the "hits" (on regular radio rotation) on the first half. There's still some songs, on here, that are being played by one station or another. "Wrong Pocket Kinda Day," "The Seventh Swan," and "Matriculating" still pop up every now and then on indie radio. And "The Cloud Walkers" and "Fistfuls of Whimsy" had their time in the sun. I think of the former three as being more radio-friendly ambient pop, while the latter two are more esoteric and epic in nature. So there's half of this second part of the album that has seen mass exposure - nothing to sneer at. Oh, I almost forgot about "The Nocturnal Dervish." It was my most popular song for quite a while, and it also saw some airplay on Darkwave Radio, the first station to play my music.

I guess "Dervish" makes a good segue to briefly go over each song on the track list. "Dervish" started life as a dark piano ballad called "Dusk Devils." After a stepping-stone remix called the "Whirlwind Mix" (now an extreme rarity) I made a more successful "Nocturnal Dervish" mix, which soared to relative popularity on Soundcloud, and was one of my first to be put into regular radio rotation. I'm not sure which was first anymore - "Slowly Scooting Closer" and "The Last Waltz" also made their way onto Darkwave Radio at about the same time. I'm getting ahead of myself, though. The "Dervish" mix greatly overshadowed its source material, so much that I began to regard it as its own separate entity. That's when its name was shortened from "Dusk Devils (Nocturnal Dervish Mix)" to simply "The Nocturnal Dervish."

Quite some time had passed that when I listened to it, some flaws began to glare at me; mostly the convoluted multi-layered drum tracks. Overlaying multiple drum machines has become a regular technique of mine, but this was one of the first times I employed it, if not the first. But it was sounding so overly busy to me that I decided to simplify it, specifically for the Nothing Left To Lose demo. The Instrumentality Project, on which it was later included, was partly an excuse to make it public. I think I may have gone overboard in writing some additional instrumentation. I thought it very subtle, but I think I should have perhaps stuck with simplifying the beats. Maybe someday I'll simplify the "Simplified" mix.

Track 02 ("Matriculating") on this collection was one of those early, unintentional happy accidents in which a song with more pop sensibilities found itself tweaked by metal aspects. It doesn't fall completely into an urgent rush of industrial-metal like "Wrong Pocket Kinda Day," but like "The Seventh Swan" it found that metal-ish electric guitars were a natural progression. This has, like the overlaid drum tracks, started to become a regular writing style of mine. But back then, it was always a fun surprise to me when it would happen, seemingly of its own accord.

Since I just kind of covered tracks 04 ("The Seventh Swan") and 05 ("Wrong Pocket Kinda Day") I'll just comment that "Day" was named for when things take a wrong turn during a so-far perfect day, while "Swan" named itself, and I imagine its namesake to be some kind of faery tale character.

Now, track 03 ("A Different Story") was a completely foreign writing experience, a style that I haven't really reproduced since. It's origin was an attempt to create a rhythm section entirely out of tweaked synths. Some bass and drums were added as a natural step later, but what I had accomplished was something that sort of sounds like "R2-D2 being tortured," as my mom put it. Then, curiously, I wrote an almost neoclassical interplay of piano and acoustic guitar over it. I guess I sort of repeated the experiment, and ended up with a similar piano-and-acoustic-guitar overlay, with Dialectical Observations' "Man Seeking Cocoon," but they're really not the same. "Story" was something really different for me, and that's where it got its name, as I was then relating my music to stories in my head. That's something I kind of miss - associating songs with the faery tales in my mind. I've been hoping to do more short story writing to get back into that groove.

Moving on to track 06 ("Cold Sunlight"): I'd been attempting to write something jazzy that got shelved for some time, then began to turn into psychedelic rock when I picked it up again. It just so happened that I was listening to what I had thus far, outside and smoking on a sunny winter's day. I began to croon about what I was seeing and experiencing, then immediately began to write it down as lyrics. There were some rhymes and lines that were thrown out, but I began to incorporate a new stanza with every next few measures of music I wrote. Similar to Jaded's "Mr. Douter," I found myself writing lyrics and instrumentation simultaneously, which seems to be the method of writing songs with vocals-and-verse that works best for me. This was my most successful attempt at such a song, and it even earned some attention from an indie radio host and reviewer. So, it's notable and I feel an essential tune from my repertoire.

Seven is a magical number to me, and it just so happens that I considered track 07, "The Cloud Walkers," to be my finest achievement for quite a while. So yeah, it had to be a part of this collection. It was informed by writing styles that I was just starting to explore, and it contained some methods that have since become regularly used in my songwriting. I wanted a dark piano ballad with a sort of industrial-metal quality, and I ended up writing something kind of epic. It was my longest song up to that point, yet it didn't feel drawn out anywhere. There's some of that interplay of piano and acoustic guitar, and it's one of my first experiments with the inclusion of electric guitars. I felt I had really outdone myself, and I was afraid that I would never surpass it. Now I feel as though I have, with songwriting techniques that have evolved and become more polished. But it all owes quite a lot to "The Cloud Walkers."

I may have published it prematurely in my desire to share it, though. I kept on toying with it for a little while afterward, and found myself switching around some arrangements, adding a little bit, and subtly changing the ending. A more settled version was published on a no-longer-available EP called Selenophilia. When that EP was pulled from shelves, it wasn't available for a while. It was essential it get back out there. I republished it on my fifth album, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and now it's integral to representing my discography.

Track 08 ("The Tranquil Isles") was originally inspired by the more ambient works of my favorite band, Tool - "Right in Two," in particular. That's where the rhythmic synths came from; the rest was formed around a wandering acoustic guitar melody. I found myself thinking of the Sea of Tranquility when writing this song, that it might make a good setting in the adventures of my mascot, the Snail. I tried the Latin name, but that didn't quite sit well with me. Instead, I found a trail of islands forming in my imagination similar to the settings of the adventures in C.S. Lewis' Voyage of the Dawn Treader. So that's where the Snail found Itself instead.

The lullaby of "Isles" has been the perfect ending for many mixes of my music that I came up with, as well as others in general, but I found myself juggling three songs that I felt would be a perfect way to end Nothing Left To Lose. "Microcosms" is short, sweet, and simple. "Fistfuls of Whimsy" is epic, and its latter half is one of the most perfect pieces of music I've written. I tried several combinations of these songs for the ending, kind of hoping that it would decompress and fade with "Isles." But the natural progression had other ideas. Instead, I went from a lullaby to a neoclassical ballad to a post-rock epic. Maybe it works out best this way. Whatever, it's what ended up sticking in the demo, and that's how it was ultimately published.

Rehegoo has published Nothing Left To Lose, Part Two at all the usual suspects, including Spotify, Google Play, Apple Music/iTunes, Amazon, Napster, and TIDAL. Once I've finished my Facebook and Google Plus Jukebox posts for each of its songs, I'll post a playlist at my YouTube channel. Since I most likely have all the songs posted at my Soundcloud, I may round them up into playlists there as well. Of course, the best and most direct way to support me and my art is through the link in the embedded player, or you can pledge at my Patreon and get Nothing Left To Lose as a downloadable reward, along with many others.

That's about it for now. I'm hoping it will cool off enough this evening that I'll brave working on mastering a full draft of my latest tune. That will put me one step closer to completing a new album and releasing new music to y'all. I sense you shivering with anticipation. Until then, may your inner snails remain resilient and determined.

Nothing Left To Lose, Part One

I finally went ahead and did it. It felt like time. My new contract with Rehegoo Music seemed to be the needed catalyst to finally bring it into the world. Nothing Left To Lose is an album I've talked about making since I started self-publishing music. The decision to finally take the big step of making my art available for public scrutiny was because, well, I had nothing left to lose. I was at the ultimate low-point of my life: recovering from an extended hospital stay that left me largely immobile, I kept my mind occupied by composing music, beginning with an app for my phone. That first EP was my Progress Report to the world of my recovery, and I decided it would be the first step toward an album called Nothing Left To Lose - also a reference to the Janis Joplin song "Me and Bobby McGee."

It never seemed the right time, the right special occasion, to finally assemble and publish the album, though I test-ran compilations of different names on myself and Patreon patrons over the years. They were all, invariable, "best of" compilations, up to that point in time. It seemed that I was just waiting for something. I've often said, when promoting the demo that's been a Patreon reward for quite a while now, that I was hoping Nothing Left To Lose would be my first album distributed on physical mediums - CDs and/or vinyl. To do that, I'd need to raise a lot of money independently, and if there's one thing I've learned is that I needed help. Artists such as Amanda Palmer, who have already made quite a name for themselves, will advise that getting into bed with a label is one of the worst things an artist can do. That can be perfectly valid counsel, so I've been skeptical and careful, and what I've found in Rehegoo Music is a label that will allow me to do exactly what I'm doing, the way I want, with a voice in how they handle whatever I pass on to them, on a non-exclusive basis. Really, it's an experiment for me - clearly, this is something I've never done before. But I think I've found the best possible entity, and way, to give this whole label thing a try. And I'm going for the full experience.

And how outstanding an ego boost is it that they scouted me out and approached me? Total bragging rights reserved there. Hopefully it doesn't bite me in the ass.

I've been letting Rehegoo take the lead on this one and treading carefully to try not to breach the contract, so I've let them publish this one first. As such, it's already available at Spotify, Google Play, Apple Music/iTunes, Amazon, Napster, and TIDAL.

A little about how I chose the songs and why: Track 01 was really a toss up between "Introducing... (Alternate III)" and "Jade's Theme (Introduction)," but I decided that "Alternate III" was more representative of the song's original intention, and "Introduction" was better suited on The Instrumentality Project, which it had been written for. "Alternate III" was actually written with Nothing Left To Lose in mind, while Jaded Winters was an excuse to make it public. Besides, I kind of like "Alternate III" better. Now I already have an idea for another version, that would be a cross between the two - well, I guess a simplified version of "Introduction." But that's for another time, and not until I have an excuse to publish it.

"Fervens" is just one of my favorites. It doesn't seem to have ever been really popular, but I consider it to be one of my best works. Originally inspired by Thom Yorke, it took the principle of "Simplify," that simplicity can create beautiful songs, and I wandered over it with some meandering acoustic guitar until it really took on life and built in intensity. Because it was a slow build, I took the latin for "simmer" or "to boil" for the title...to be a little pretentious, if I'm honest. I don't actually know latin. The Internet helped with that one.

"Simplify" was a hit, relatively. It was my most popular song at Soundcloud for quite a while, and it was also in regular rotation on a few radio stations. I believe it still is. It was an exercise in letting go of the mindset that the more complex a tune is, the better, and it was a lesson that simplicity can create beautiful art.

"Darkest Dreams" is the instrumental of "Sublime Like Swine," published because I couldn't decide if I liked it better with or without vocals. I decided that they both have their merits as separate entities, therefore deserved separate titles. The instrumental happens to be more popular, which is why it was chosen for Nothing Left To Lose. This is my "nu-metal" song, inspired by Placebo's "Post Blue" and sounding a bit as if it's from the Korn era of hard rock. It proved to be a bit of a hit, also earning airplay.

Another "hit", and one of my first to be put into regular radio rotation, "Slowly Scooting Closer" was a success that I henceforth tried to replicate, and ended up informing my songwriting thereafter. My music took on a more "darkwave" identity for quite a while. With Dialectical Observations, I've drifted away from that sound, but I proved with Neoclassism that I haven't shaken it off, and I probably never will completely. Therefore, it's one of the most representative songs of my music.

"Safe in Cars" is another personal favorite that has never been very popular, except, oddly, with classical music lovers on Google Plus. This was my "driving song," not just fun to drive to, but also a reminder that you can become too relaxed in your speedy metal boxes, with the occasional metallic burst to remind you to "Wake the fuck up!" and remain alert, because your safety is an illusion. Either you or someone else can cause an accident at any time; though, if anything, the road system is odd proof at how well-organized human beings can be when they agree on common sets of rules.

"Passage Through the Veil" was an attempt to replicate my once-upon-a-time "magnum opus" "The Cloud Walkers," trying for another post-industrial neoclassical-ish epic. I wasn't sure I'd succeeded, but it's subsequent popularity, especially after being highlighted in the Starlight Music Chronicles Artist of the Month competition, indicates that I have. It's been the most popular song at my YouTube channel, as well as on other streaming platforms at one point in time or another. This is my "wormhole" song, trying to capture the sense of falling down the rabbit hole, or lifting the veil between one reality and another, a sort of graceful vertigo, if that makes any kind of sense.

"The Last Waltz" is the most popular version of a quite popular song, "Giger's Lullaby," which now numbers eleven different versions, most known as "Waltz with Lilith" or "Waltz for Giger." As the most popular version, it was the logical choice for Nothing Left To Lose. "Last" was also one of my first to be accepted into radio rotation, on Darkwave Radio, another song wrapping me up in a much-explored gothic identity. The "Waltz"s were inspired by the biomechanical nightmares of surrealist H.R. Giger, whose one of my favorite artists of all time. I love any movie featuring his xenomorph, and the psychosexual evocations of his work are deliciously unsettling. To make a "lullaby" to wrap oneself in images that I've grown to find oddly comforting was the goal. Okay, it ended up kind of cheesy, but I think it's fun and delightfully gothic. And this is a version that hopefully inspires some kinetic energy, being a sort of post-industrial trip-hop remix.

"Winter's Salve" is my signature piano ballad, one of my earliest compositions, and a song that I continue to revisit. I decided to try my hand at writing something with a more classical style, which was also a test to see how much of my five years of piano lessons, from twenty years ago, had stuck. It began as "Winter's Discontent," as I went into my first winter of recovery from my hospitalization, anticipating a very dark period of my life. Instead, my attempts at solo composition kept me productive and buoyed my spirits. It became "Winter's Salve," and this is one of the newest versions, despite it having no subtitle to indicate as much. The original "Winter's Salve" was only ever a bonus track on a limited edition, and I'm kind of glad it's such a rarity, because it's grown to be much more solid over the past three years. I've decided to pretend this is the original. Like "Introducing (Alternate III)," it's a newer version than the prior-to-Dialectical Observations time period of the rest of Nothing Left To Lose, but I made an exception because it's derived from an old song.

And "Revolutions" has, like "Simplify," reigned as my most popular song on Soundcloud and other streaming platforms. Probably my most danceable tune, it was a test-run of an "intuitive" AI drummer that came with an upgrade of my composing program. Well, the drummer wasn't intuitive enough, though it did have some beats that would take me hours to program in note-by-note, so I took what it came up with and sliced and spliced it so that the emphases and swells were in the right places, also layering it over other drum tracks, as I went along.

So that wraps up Part One. Like I said, I've been letting Rehegoo take the lead on this one, so no word yet on when Part Two will arrive. I've just sent them an email nagging them about it, though. It took a few weeks after they received the tracks for this one to get published, so that may be the norm, though I sent the tracks for Part Two at the same time. Maybe they just feel that spacing them apart more is a better marketing strategy? I have no idea what goes on in their collective brains. They have multiple departments needing to communicate with each other, and I am by no means their only artist. However, "The Seventh Swan" is on Part Two, and has already appeared on one of their compilations. So I'm hoping Part Two is still a thing... Even if it isn't, I'll be going ahead and publishing it at my own store.

Here's to the future of Nothing Left To Lose! Until then, may your inner snails remain resilient and determined.

With Love, Catatonia

It's been two months between posts, something I'd really like to not let happen. I wanted to do a review for the new Shakey Graves album, Can't Wake Up, when it was released - I even listened to it several times in a row (not that that was much of a chore) in preparation - but I never seemed to have the time or energy. I've been having problems with being low-energy lately, but I've also been really focused on the new EP. Really, I wrote five songs in two months, and each is one that I've been really proud of and excited to share with people. The third month, I gave myself time to tweak it, experiment with it, and edit it. With Dialectical Observations, and since then, I've come to the realization that I can put a really quality product out there if I give myself around that amount of time to play around. And after listening to With Love, Catatonia obsessively before its release, I've come to the conclusion that there's absolutely nothing I want to change now. Maybe by the time of my next full-length album... I'd rather not say "never," and who knows what the next album will bring. Anyway, I've decided that a full-length album with the best-fitting material from Neoclassism and With Love, Catatonia is next. So far, it's shaping up to have a similar feel to Dialectical Observations, but I'd rather not go into it with a goal in mind for its sound. Such as with Neoclassism, I'd like to let the songs decide for themselves.

Speaking of Neoclassism - isn't it odd that it's follow-up would have a more "neoclassical" sound? After Dialectical, I thought I'd be continuing down a more ambient/neoclassical path, but no, Neoclassism decided it would be in a more post-industrial vein, sounding similar to my fourth album, Revolutions. Then With Love, Catatonia seemed to pick up where Dialectical left off, with something more ambient-pop and focused on string arrangements. Okay, the strings thing isn't evident in the first song, "Cataphany," which is more straightforward trip-hop, guided by a repeated succession of piano notes. Putting in cello was more of an afterthought, though it started with the bowed bass. I really wanted a deep bass sound, and I succeeded with something that throbs, and has some interesting riffs. And the beats...I love the beats. I think I pulled off something wonderfully "post-industrial pop." It puts me in an optimistic mood with an easy-to-get-into groove.

I'd been reading Gregory Maguire's After Alice (which is kind of flat for a Gregory Maguire book, by the way) and it wraps up with the musings of a fictionalized Charles Darwin:

"I was musing on the notion of cataphany...from the Greek 'cata,' meaning down, and 'phantazein,' to make visible. Also the root of 'fantasy,' don't you know.  'Cataphany': an insight, a revelation of underness... Let me put it more scientifically. If separate species develop skills that help them survive, and if those attributes are favored which best benefit the individual and its native population, to what possible end might we supposed has arisen...that particular capacity of the human being known as the imagination?"

This little speech resonated with me more than the rest of the book did, and you may have noticed that I have a thing for made-up words. I jotted down the word and decided it had to be the title of a song. And so, the music itself, when coupled with the title, means to me the optimism that can be achieved through imagination. It was a sort of revelation in itself, musically achieved. I was really eager to share this song, but I exercised restraint. In fact, I held off on sharing so much as a preview of any of these songs, except for "Puzzlebox" to Patreon patrons, which was actually the first song written for this EP. By virtue of its experimentalism, it seemed more fitting for a finale than an opener. I used "Cataphany" to try and set a tone for the overall EP instead.

The optimism continues in "Revel," which has the fastest pace, and continues a bit with the throbbing bass, in portions of the song, at least. This song was composed on guitar rather than piano, something I've never really done before; it eschews piano entirely, making it a rarity. Actually, it began with the opening strings, which were in part inspired by Dialectical Observations' "Less Sinister Cousins." They were intended to set an epic tone, but instead became relegated to the background by additional strings and guitar, and mostly the beats. Oh, the beats. Trying something different - instead of layering drum machines and kits, I switch between three. This creates different "styles." "Hip-Hop," "House," and "Classic." In a 3/4 time signature rather than a 4/4, it creates an off-kilter feel to each. But somehow it's continually danceable, with each flowing effortlessly into the other, rather than creating a dissonance. These, and the cello, are at the core of "Revel," raveling it together into a cohesive whole. And it's the beats that provided the song name. It reminded me of the "hip-hop" beats uncharacteristically used in the faerie revels taking place in an after-hours mall foodcourt in the book Widdershins, by Charles de Lint - you may have noticed that de Lint influences me quite a bit. Anyway, with the juxtaposition of the beats, flute, and string quartet, I thought this might be used in a revel at an urban faerie court.

I electronically transitioned (though this song was written prior) into piano overtaken by more strings in "Power Time Gravity Love." It began with a cello melody composed over piano arpeggios, then I removed the piano when it felt jarring next to the flowing of the cello and viola. I tried without really succeeding to mimic the feel of the beats used in "Cataphany." The light pulsing tapped out doesn't quite tonally match, and more incongruous industrial clanging and hissing is used for a more epic effect. There's a lot of industrial and electronic elements here, but I faded them into the background. In the end, this song is about the flowing grace of a streaming cello melody that is then reexamined every which way. The initial piano chords are echoed by acoustic guitar for a lighter tone. I was head-over-heels about that cello melody, and had a lot of fun trying it a few different ways, and then on different strings. At last, to wrap it up, it seemed fitting to pluck the melody at its essence on an echoing electric guitar. 

The title for this song comes from the musing of a character in the novel Cloud Atlas (I love both the book and the movie) that the most influential forces in our lives are invisible. This seemed nothing short of a revelation to me, and I had to jot it down. Don't ask me why I attached it to this song. These things often decide for themselves and seem to be out of my hands.

"Misplaced Romanticism" is the oldest song on the EP. It was considered for Neoclassism, in fact, but it never felt quite right, and instead became a bonus track on the Patreon-exclusive Artist's Edition. It's gone through a few iterations since, with my tinkering trying to perfect it, and never quite succeeding. I became a bit obsessed with trying to get it right, and get it onto With Love, Catatonia. The piano never changed - that's where its essence lies, especially in that opening, tinkling melody. Some of the strings seemed solid enough to be set in stone. It was mostly the cello that felt wrong. It kept causing a bit of discord, and I couldn't isolate what it was. I copied song files and tried different things with it so many times that I've lost track. I'd seem to have it...and still, it would sound wrong. I think sometimes I overcomplicated it. In the end, this might be the closest to the original I've recorded in a long time, with just two-or-three notes changed. This is different from the Neoclassism version. I feel, after listening to it several times, that this is the right version. Maybe I'm just sick of changing it, but I'm pretty sure I finally got it. It sounds pretty solid to me. This was the second-to-last song finished (I tried some experiments with "Power Time Gravity Love" up to the last couple of days) and the first written. Some songs just take longer than others. I think the quickest to be written was actually "Puzzlebox."

For as complicated as "Puzzlebox" is, it's amazing how quickly it came out, and that it never changed. Initially, I just wanted to sustain a strings chord, with a staccato burst at the end. Who knew where it would go wrong there? Then I started tapping a synth along with it, but realized they were in different time signatures. And the following piano was in yet a third time signature. Could I really synchronize all three in an interlocking, harmonizing structure? Well, the first step would be to not write anything overly complex. The concept of the song was complex enough. Deep breath...let's keep things simple, but compelling. Now the beats were compelling, and I think by themselves could hold a listener's attention. There's no real melody here. Everything is just pieces fitting together, sometimes in absentia, but mostly adding one layer on top of another. Each layer was fun for me to work with, and I was mesmerized by how, after 64 (I think) bars, it all came back together. I wanted to do this twice, and keep things interesting, so a couple of odd synths and a two-note flute came into play. Then, after 128 bars (again, I'm recollecting from a few months ago) it all came together again, and I closed it with a single chord, which added an acoustic guitar that had been nowhere else in the song. Afterward, I kept describing this as a "puzzle box" of a song, though it's original name was "Bells for Him," in a nod to Tori Amos. Then, I shrugged and thought, if I'm going to describe it this way, why not just name it "Puzzlebox"?

This is a relatively "minimalist" album, in that most of the songs don't contain the sixteen-or-more layers of instrumentation that I normally use. It felt a little more graceful and less cacophonous that way. There's nothing truly epic here, more relaxing and at times even light-hearted, than anything else. That's why I've come to describe it as "a gentle start to your morning, a soothing lullaby, or a deep breath in between." After the relentless pace of Neoclassism, I seem to have explored the complete opposite end of my post-industrial spectrum.

With Love, Catatonia is available on (links will be highlighted as they become available) Spotify, YouTube, Google Play, Apple Music, iTunes, Amazon, TIDAL, Napster, and something called iHeartRadio that I've never heard of before. Oh well, it's nice to be on new things! Oh, and I haven't even begun to tell you about the label I've signed on with, or my desperate need for Patreon patrons (I'm at zero right now) and the (I think) soon availability of Nothing Left To Lose through Rehegoo Music! Well, more on that later, probably when Nothing Left To Lose is actually released.

Until then, may your inner snails remain resilient and determined.

An Arcane Design:

The Arcane Insignia, and its Debut Album, A Flawed Design

I'll start off by saying, I've been waiting for this album since 2015. I first became acquainted with The Arcane Insignia's frontman/composer/guitarist/vocalist on Twitter, of all places. We found a mutual appreciation for each other's music - he called "Slowly Scooting Closer" a "beast" of a song, and I fell in love with an EP (more of a demo) from 2013, which contained five songs: "Car(di)nail & (Sub)liminal," "Chapter 9: Trail of Extinguished Suns," "Panopticon," "The Violence Within," and "Vicarious Virtues." These songs had me chomping at the bit, eager for more; I was repeatedly told, "It's coming soon," referring to a full-length album that I anticipated would be heavenly.

The result, released March 16th, 2018, was more of a single composition than an album: it's arrangements of acoustic seven-string guitar, strings, and acoustic percussion are equally neoclassical and progressive rock, with the vocals more of an accompanying instrument, the lyrics a prose of  metaphorical and spiritual poetry. The guitar is often used for percussive riffs, as often at it's plucked melodiously, with even a little metal-inspired flavor.

"Kingdom of Wolves" starts off the album as a lengthy prelude to seven additional "chapters" (that's the best description I can come up with) and after three listens, I already know I need a booklet of lyrics (incidentally, you can find the lyrics for each song at the band's Bandcamp page), to read along with the music. It's easier to hear the vocals as an additional instrument, and the lyrics are seldom repeating or rhyming, making the possibility of memorizing seem an intimidating feat. But that's part of their appeal: this is thoughtful stream-of-consciousness prose rather than your standard fair, adding to the sense that this is a musical epic. The lyrics are more of a companion to Alejandro's voice, guitar, and percussion; Noah Heau's cello; and Tina Chang-Chien's viola and backup vocals.

"Architect of a Flawed Design" continues the story, with a light neoclassical intro segueing into more percussive guitar and violently sawed strings. Metaphors of questions and statements is highlighted - unexpectedly and thrillingly - by a choir contributed to by Martha Stella Calle (Alejandro's mother, and a tremendous source of strength and support in his life), Allie Jessing, and Jamel Lee.

It is stated that "Chapter 9: Trail of Extinguished Suns" is the "song that started it all." It was one of the first songs that I became acquainted with, almost immediately finding tits way into two playlists in my iTunes: "Acoustic/Electric/Eclectic" and "Another Soundtrack for Another Life." And that's what it became: essential to the soundtrack of my life. Rereleased as an advance single for the album, I was excited to experience a new version that didn't disappoint. The vocals became overlapping and harmonizing, including backing accompaniment. It was a new experience with which I felt extremely satisfied, and increased my anticipation of the album, which I was again reassured was "coming soon" - I was hesitant, but so wanted to believe.

Another song, "Car(di)nal (Sub)liminal," was also appropriately used an advanced single, and again it was one with which I was already familiar, equally as important in my life as "Trail of Extinguished Suns." It offered up new delights, again in the form of overlapping and harmonizing vocals. New strings arrangements gave the song a more orchestral feel, yet it stands on its own as a progressive rock tune.

"Obelisk Pt 1: Fallen Shell" is the melancholy prelude to an epic of self-discovery, part one being what I interpret as a tale of a changed man who does not recognize his transformation as necessarily a good thing. However, part two, "Liquid Skies," changes perspective of this transformation, with adversity recognized as an ally to self-discovery; of the changed man being a step in the journey toward a being perfect in his imperfections, the metaphorical "obelisk." It speaks of a very Buddhist view of the self, which is a form of spirituality that Alejandro has embraced. A comparison of this song that comes to mind is Tool's two-part epic "Wings for Marie," though whereas "Wings" is more psychedelic ambient rock, this is more neoclassical progressive rock. Still, I think "Obelisk" is a kindred spirit.

Lastly (before a hidden bonus track you have to download the album to hear) is "Gemini Cycle," a song graceful is its entirety, guitar and strings playing off each other in classical fashion until the vocals join the fray,. Alejandro is yet again joined by Martha Stella Calle, Allie Jessing, and Jamel Lee, in elevating choral arrangements.  The song's instrumental interludes are many and welcome, bringing it beyond the level of typical progressive rock.  I have to say that every song aside from "Trail of Extinguished Suns" and "Car(di)nal (Sub)liminal" have a certain novelty for me for being new, and I'd be hard-pressed to choose a favorite, but this song's neoclassical grace, combined with the sublime choir, strikes a chord within me: my favorite qualities of eccentric rock are finally in a single song!

I had to confess to Alejandro that I was disappointed in the absence of "Vicarious Virtues," one of my favorite songs; but I was promised that it would be on the sophomore album, which I'm already eagerly anticipating. Hopefully I won't have to wait for three years this time, but if I do, it will undoubtedly be worth it. I know from past experience that The Arcane Insignia's composer won't do things half-assed, especially where his art is concerned. I think that all his fans will agree with me that we appreciate it, and that we've been rewarded for our patience and support.

A Flawed Instrumental

Okay, I was going to go with this as a post-script, but upon listening to it, it's clear it deserves a whole lot more.

Available at the band's Bandcamp page is an instrumental version of A Flawed Design, which I was hesitant about - I couldn't imagine the album working without the instrument of Alejandro Saldarriaga Calle's vocals and his metaphorical and spiritual prose - but I had to try it out. From the beginning of "Kingdom of Wolves" onward, I was blown away, all over again.

I'll start by noting that "Kingdom of Wolves" - a seventeen-minute epic - is now broken down to five parts. The con palabras (with words) version is a little intimidating, as you have to commit yourself to hearing it as a whole, or why bother? I personally find it impossible to pause or skip once it's begun. It's a terrific opening track, but as a five-part instrumental epic, it gives you options. I still have to see it through, as well as it works as a neoclassical instrumental. And there's no other label for it. "Neoclassical" is definitely the way to go. It easily compares to the works of Lorenzo Masotto, my favorite composer of this genre. But differing from many neoclassical compositions, which often have electronic components, this is boldly acoustic.

The guitar, either melodically plucked or rapidly strummed, is usually the source of rhythm here, though staccato bursts from the strings sometimes take their turn. Percussion, in this case, is often provided unconventionally by the guitar/viola/cello trio, while actual acoustic percussion instruments - a tambourine here, some toms and bass-kicking, a cymbal there  - are used for accent and emphasis, as carefully placed as any of the other players at work here. The primary "rock" component is the guitar's metal influences, but it is also a major part of what makes this such a unique work, as a neoclassical composition. And it is almost fluidly a single composition. Parts are broken down for your convenience; though, "Obelisk" is now melded into a single track. Hearing it as a unified piece is almost a whole new experience. Hell, hearing all of this instrumentally is a whole new experience. By turns, it's so melodic and frenetic, and always impressive.

It is worth mentioning that the end of "Obelisk" has been transformed for its instrumental incarnation, both gentler and more fierce.

Like "Kingdom of Wolves," "Gemini Cycle" has been broken down into five components. I would characterize them as more "bite size," but each chunk is its own unique little movement. As pensive and dramatic as this song is as a whole, it's fun - yes, fun - to see it from this perspective. Each track gives me a little thrill that makes me a bit giddy.

A Flawed Design [Instrumental] brings to mind the difference between Tori Amos' Night of Hunters and its sin palabras counterpart. Each works beautifully in its own way. You would think that the absence of vocal melodies and lyrical poetry would detract from the piece, yet it just provides a different - and insightful - perspective. Here, A Flawed Design is transformed into a neoclassical piece of complex, undulating beauty, different from its prog-rock incarnation in a significant and important, vitally valid way.

 I definitely recommend it. After listening to the con palabras album four-or-five times (I confess, I lost track, as I listened to each song multiple times while writing the above article to be thoroughly informed) I found myself enraptured by the instrumental. It will transport you to a different place, in a very good way.