Jaded Winters and Fleeting Fractals
This has been an incredibly busy month, as I've been cramming in more than maybe I should have leading up to the third anniversary of my debut EP, Progress Report.
Progress Report was just that: an update on what I'd been up to and how I was healing following an intense ten-day hospital stay, during which I was violently ill. After my hospitalization I was largely immobile, as the gradual development of neuropathy suddenly hit me full-force, and I could hardly stand because of the pain, and had a very difficult time maintaining my balance. I made my way around the house largely by repelling myself off of walls; stairs were about impossible to manage without crawling; and I used a walker outside of the house. You see, my liver nearly failed, and the damage was spread throughout my body. I ended up staying mostly on the couch and massaging my affected brain with word games on my iPad. Stephen King's Dark Tower series helped keep boredom at bay, perhaps saving my life as I entered a period of severe depression - something I'm already susceptible to.
My discharge from the hospital was on February 18th, 2014, and it was during the following winter that I began to dabble at composing. Music has always been a very large part of my life. I took five years of piano music when I was very young, and I followed that with show choir through middle school and high school. I picked up a guitar and taught myself to play while I was fronting alternative and metal bands as a vocalist. As a soloist, I performed a cappella at open mics. Then I got into a long-term relationship and began focusing on "real" jobs, which lasted six years before a volatile breakup during which I lost everything and had to move to Missouri from Portland, Oregon to try and pick up the pieces of myself and my life. All together, I had about a ten-year hiatus from music.
So I put my years of piano music - and trying my hand at every instrument I picked up - to use on a computer program, and on an iPad app with "simulated" instruments (meaning there's some fret work, strumming, and bowing involved on stringed instruments, apart from the keyboards) and I composed some instrumentals. One of those earliest was primarily a test to see if those piano lessons had stuck, trying my hand at a more classical-style piece. That song was called "Winter's Discontent," as I anticipated a particularly dark and depressing winter, with my mobility so limited. However, as music became my main focus through this composition work, that winter was not only bearable but somewhat enjoyable, and that song was renamed "Winter's Salve," not completed until after I released Progress Report.
I decided to self-publish some of this work, partly in defiance of every artist's initial fear of making themselves vulnerable by offering up their creation for public scrutiny. Many talented artists I have known have sold themselves short and never pursued that path because of that fear. However, I decided to share this work, even if I didn't plan on selling it, instead offering it up for free, if anyone wanted to download it. I had seven songs ready in February 2015, and decided this "progress report" should be published on the one-year anniversary of my hospital discharge. Instead, in honor of the Dark Tower books that were helping in keeping me sane, I released it on the 19th, a number that figures into that series quite a bit.
The EP almost began with a song called "The Trip Begins," which fortunately has never been heard by anyone else. Being dissatisfied with that song, I instead set to composing a sort of introductory piano ditty, which I completed overnight, and thus "Introducing..." was born. After a couple more cracks at that song, it wound up opening a couple more of those "non-commercial," up-for-grabs EPs. When I actually got confident enough to distribute my work on a wider scale, it opened my first "real" album, Instrumentality, and then a version with beats - "No Introduction Needed" - kicked off my second album, Occultation.
Since then, that melody has been reused a few times, being renamed "Jade's Theme" after a fictional alter ego of mine who is the protagonist of many stories in my head. It's a melody that doesn't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon, and neither is "Winter's Salve."
After a couple of remixes of "Winter's Salve," I decided to try my hand at a minimalist mix closer to the original, bringing to life a version that had been developing in my head to rival the song's definitive version for over two years, the "Alternate Spin." I first shared the result as a bonus track on the Extended Artist's Edition of the album Dialectical Observations, and a desire to make it available to the public at large brought about the idea for Jaded Winters. This also seemed like a good way to bring "Introducing... (Alternate II)" and "Winter's Salve (Alternate Spin)" back into circulation, after their disappearance from my discography, when I decided to pull Instrumentality from stores and streaming platforms.
The concept of Jaded Winters gave me the excuse to try out an all-strings version of "Jade's Theme" that had been matriculating in the back of my mind. This came to fruition as "Jade's Theme (Strung Out)," and then I offered it, and "Winter's Salve (Dialectical)," to the public in a prototype of Winters over the 2017 end-of-year holidays. I knew an "official" version was in the cards for early 2018, and it was a random inspiration to publish it as a Valentine's gift. As it got closer to this release date, I gave another listen to the amateurish "Introducing... (Alternate II)" and "Wnter's Salve (Alternate Spin)." I decided to remove them, and instead made "Winter's Salve (Dialectical)" the definitive version of that song, with a simplified title. I gave "Introducing..." another crack, returning to its original instrumentation, and I recorded "Introducing... (Alternate III)." I then recorded a new mix of "Winter's Salve" with some cool new beats and a couple of synths from a prior, overly-complex remix. This gave birth to "Winter's Salve (Siren's Call)." This all evened out to the desired number of four tracks.
Backtracking to shortly before Valentine's Day...
I had shared a recording of "Signor Fancypants" on one of my "Jukebox" posts on social media, that wasn't publicly available: how it was on the album Dialectical Observations, but without the interrupted ending that segued abruptly into the introduction for "Less Sinister Cousins." A desire to make this almost single-worthy version widely available also gave me the excuse I hadn't realized I was waiting for to replace the single version of "Fleeting Fractals" with its superiorly mixed Dialectical Observations album version. So it was that a new Fleeting Fractals single came into being with the addition of "Signor Fancypants."
I had shared a recording of "Signor Fancypants" on one of my "Jukebox" posts on social media, that wasn't publicly available: how it was on the album Dialectical Observations, but without the interrupted ending that segued abruptly into the introduction for "Less Sinister Cousins." A desire to make this almost single-worthy version widely available also gave me the excuse I hadn't realized I was waiting for to replace the single version of "Fleeting Fractals" with its superiorly mixed Dialectical Observations album version. So it was that a new Fleeting Fractals single came into being with the addition of "Signor Fancypants."
Now, I never did a release article on this blog for either Jaded Winters or Fleeting Fractals, because I knew that I'd be wrapping all of February's activities into one. I never made readers aware of the free-on-Valentine's gift, so to make up for that I'm offering exclusive links here for free downloads:
and
Jaded Winters is also available at Spotify, YouTube Music, Google Play, Apple Music, Amazon, and TIDAL.
Fleeting Fractals is also available at Spotify, YouTube Music, Google Play, Apple Music, Amazon, and TIDAL.
Fleeting Fractals is also available at Spotify, YouTube Music, Google Play, Apple Music, Amazon, and TIDAL.
Neoclassism and Distilled
"Neoclassism" was a title I'd known I'd apply to a song or album for some time. I decided that it would be the title of my follow-up to Dialectical Observations, indicative of the neoclassical direction I seemed to be heading in. However, after I record their initial inspirations, the songs tend to decide which direction they'll take. Sometimes it seems like they're out of my hands until I begin to engineer their final sound.
"Why Can't We Have Nice Things?" and "Surviving Is Killing Me" were first available as two of the bonus tracks on the Patreon-exclusive Dialectical Observations Extended Artist's Edition. "Nice Things" was continuing down that more neoclassical path, with some heavily electronic, industrial-style beats, similar to "Less Sinister Cousins."
Written in a flurry of anxiety that lasted for three days straight, "Killing Me" was a return to previously explored industrial-metal styles, with a title inspired by Fear The Walking Dead - Alicia informs her mother that "just surviving is killing me," or something to that effect.
Written in a flurry of anxiety that lasted for three days straight, "Killing Me" was a return to previously explored industrial-metal styles, with a title inspired by Fear The Walking Dead - Alicia informs her mother that "just surviving is killing me," or something to that effect.
"Symbolism" and "Reciprocal" were both jump-started by riffs from previous songs, that I'd been wanting to explore further. The piano riff that begins and then peppers "Symbolism" is from both "Overdrive" and "Passage Through The Veil" on the album Revolutions, which I've wanted to continue as a repeating theme throughout my discography. Perhaps it's because of it's relationship with those two songs that "Symbolism" sounds like it could have also been on Revolutions. The only real commonality it has with my newer writings are instruments that I've only lately begun to use. The glockenspiel found in "Less Sinister Cousins" and "Fistfuls of Whimsy" on Observations makes a return, and a deep-throated, synthesized "bassoon" - that has only recently become available on my DAW - is used to dramatic effect, both as a repeating single-note baritone, and as a soloist with a theme dangerously close to one found in Terminator (I think Sarah Connor's theme in the TV show?).
"Reciprocal" uses the cello climax from "Yours To Burn" on Counterbalance, something so rapid and urgent that I fell in love with it. "Reciprocal" could be considered neoclassical in style, based on the cello-and-viola duet and flute found playing off each other as the lead instruments, but the interrupting guitars and synths make it more of an industrial-metal tune. The title was originally "Eleven," simply because it was the eleventh project file in my DAW. It stuck for quite a while because the number eleven has had significance in various periods of my life. This song wasn't initially going to be on this record, except maybe as an Artist's Edition bonus track. Same with "Reprieve," originally titled "Love & Loss." However, these songs' titles and status were both in flux, and once they informed me of their changes in name, they seemed more significant to the "neoclassism" theme. And when more songs were written before the EP's release, they were relegated to the public version, with the additional songs becoming bonus tracks.
"Otaku" is a very eccentric song, not the same style whatsoever as the other songs, relating to them only in the relentless pace the EP was forming. It was born of the idea to do two acoustic guitar tracks, one jumpstarting the riffs of the other with single sustained notes, but it was really the use of the "Chinese" drum kit that gave the song its style. Some strange electronics give it an industrial quality, and it's because of all these elements that this song really defies classification. I want to say it has an "ethnic" sound, but what that ethnicity is I would be hard-pressed to label. I guess it feels vaguely Asian to me, which could be why "otaku" - a Japanese word described to me as literally meaning "outsider," by the book World War Z - was chosen as a title. However, "otaku" is most often used as a term describing young people with nerdy obsessions, to the detriment of their social skills. I guess this could have labeled me at a point in my life, which in part has informed the person I have become. Such young people seem to have an easier time relating to me than to other adults, and I identify with them as well. So this song is really for this class of "discarded" or "dismissed" youth.
A couple of bonus songs are available on the exclusive Patreon pledge reward, the Neoclassism Artist's Edition. I recorded a version of Revolutions' "The Creeps" that has a cleaner, more piano-and-trip-hop sound, with rerecorded vocals. Because of that song's themes of class war and xenophobia, it was hard not to include it on the public EP. But it's a bit of an experiment that I'm self-conscious about, so it was easier-than-not to keep it as more of a rarity. "Misplaced Romanticism" is another song that was difficult to keep off the record; it has a neoclassical sound, and the title refers to the misguided romanticism applied to other classes - such as the well-off romanticizing poverty, and the classes lower on the financial ladder assuming that wealth is easy and unearned. There's really multiple sides to the opposite-end-of-the-spectrum classes, and I wanted this record to reflect that; to not only be a rallying of the lower classes against the top one-percent (which is admittedly a stance that I take).
I hope that the themes and the music of this EP are enjoyable to others, and reflect myself and my growth as an artist. If you'd like to support me and my art, please consider buying the songs or digital record from my Snail Tunes store. Otherwise, enjoy it through Spotify, YouTube Music, Google Play, Apple Music/iTunes, Amazon, and TIDAL.
And here's my anniversary gift to you all, my celebration of three years of self-publishing my work, and my heartfelt THANK YOU to all who have encouraged and supported this journey. I was hard pressed to think of a theme for this year's EP, and then decided everyone deserves free downloads of my most popular songs from Occultation, Jaded, and Revolutions; songs that have been met with enthusiasm and have earned their way onto radio shows and stations throughout the world of indie music, despite their being instrumentals. It was pretty easy to select them once the theme had been decided. "Simplify" and "Revolutions" have been among my top-three most-played tunes, while "Slowly Scooting Closer" was (I think) the first to be picked up for regular rotation. "The Seventh Swan" and "Wrong Pocket Kinda Day" are both pop-friendly, and have made their rounds, while "Passage Through The Veil" has the most views on my YouTube channel, and was selected by Starlight Music Chronicles to represent my music in an artist-of-the-month contest. Enjoy!
And as always, may your inner snails be resilient and determined.
And as always, may your inner snails be resilient and determined.
