So, I made this playlist a while ago, but at first I was coming up on the release of my latest EP, Compromises, and then was dealing with the promotional circus for that. Since then, I've had my struggles. I was being plagued by double-vision and random losses of equilibrium, even falling down occasionally. My vision was so bad that I couldn't read, watch TV, or operate a computer. I could sort of compose music by remembering where things are, but I couldn't do any detail work. I couldn't drive myself to my therapy sessions or doctors' appointments; I couldn't do much of anything at all. When I went to visit my sister-in-law's family in Tennessee, I tried to go work at their espresso stand for a day. I couldn't even make out the measurements on the blender from two inches away. It was that night I stopped taking Lamiktal. I'd already been conferring with a new primary care doctor, who took me off of Gabepentin, which seemed to eliminate the dizzy spells and falling over. Then I found that without the Lamiktal I was able to see! However, that's my primary bipolar medication. After a week of not taking it, my mother said I was noticeably more angry and sad. It was a fair trade-off for me though. I'd rather be off of medication and moody than on medication and moody because I can't see!
Anyway, now my new primary care physician is trying me out on other medications for the same issues, and I find that I trust him and he's more willing to work with me than other doctors I've had. We haven't exactly found the right cocktail yet. But I am keeping in mind that I'll probably always be a little angsty, a little angry, a little depressed and anxious. When my doctor discovered I'm an "artistic type," he remarked that I probably don't want to try and medicate it all away. We can manage it. But my "instability" is likely fuel for my creative fire. And like I said, I doubt I'll ever be entirely without it. I'm not sure medication can even accomplish that. I don't think I'd want it to.
So the release of Compromises and my own mental health struggles have hindered me a little bit in keeping everything up to date. And there was also that trip to Tennessee, during which I finished writing the upcoming single "My Secret Life," but didn't accomplish anything else music-related. The trip did seem to reaffirm that I might be moving there. It's close to Knoxville, which has a good music scene and is super cute, with a decent liberal population. There actually seems to be a great mix of conservatives and liberals in the area, where I could be a hippie redneck and not stand out too much. Of course, my secret goal is to be a gothic cowboy, but I need to lose weight to pull off my trench coat again, then find a black stetson and some fancy boots. Anyway, Knoxville would probably be good for me, though it could keep me so busy I'd have less time for music. There's a couple of little boys (my sister-in-law's grandsons) who would want to take up my time and energy. They'd be worth it, though. But we'll see how this all unfolds. I won't even know if I'll have a place to live there until February.
For now, things have calmed down a bit. I'm getting my medication adjusted and getting back into writing new music, with a new single on the way, but I'm between releases. So I've turned my attention back to this playlist that I made before Compromises to showcase my last three albums, Dialectical Observations, Pattern Recognition, and Saturn Ascending. It shouldn't be confused with a "best of" album, though I do consider these to be Essential Songs. In a way, it's a continuation of the 47 Essential Songs collection. That's why "Fistfuls of Whimsy" hasn't been included, because it was already on Nothing Left To Lose. But there's some songs not included here that I feel are sorely missing, such as "...That Holds Up The Stars." And "Gravity Time Power Love" is an essential little melody that I'm sure I'm not done with yet, but I had to stick with a certain theme here. And that theme is post-industrial neoclassical songs, preferably that rock. Since I felt a rock vibe was essential, non-neoclassical tunes like "Otaku" got snuck in. But for the most part, I wanted this playlist to showcase the neoclassical direction I've taken with Dialectical Observations and onward.
That mode of songwriting is still sticking with me. You can see it in between the ambient-pop tunes of Compromises. My upcoming single, "My Secret Life," is going to show you how I started with the chords of "Dark Highways" and wrote a metal ballad. I recently finished a song called "Germing" that's along the lines of "Winter's Salve" and "Microcosms." And then there's this bonus tune I'd like to share with you that will most likely accompany the Snail Tunes version of the "My Secret Life" single. This was inspired by the menu music for the season one DVD of Falling Skies, along the same lines as "For Simplicity's Sake."
I've also written a new version of "Jade's Theme" for my mom's birthday, which is the 28th. I may share that on the next EP, or have it floating around somewhere or other. It turned out really well. I happen to be listening right now to another new song, an ambient-metal guitar piece called "Milkweed," as part of the playlist I've put together for my mom's birthday CD. With the new songs and the songs from Compromises I've included, I definitely have enough for a full-length album. I'm not sure if that's my next step or not. You know, usually I release two EPs as I work my way toward a full-length album. I can't decide if I should break away from that formula this time or not. Probably not...but we'll see. I've got some great new songs that work fantastically alongside the likes of "What the Hell," "For Simplicity's Sake," and "Bare Arms." Another post-industrial neoclassical album is definitely on the way.
Until then, my dears, may your inner snails remain resilient and determined.
P.S. If you'd like a download of Legends of the Small 2.0, in a format of your choice, with track art and a PDF booklet, make a pledge at my Patreon!
