Fourth of July has come and gone, thank the gods. It's not that I dislike the holiday, really. The representation of war that fireworks emulate is a bit off-putting, as are the loud noises and the negative effect they have on some animals and those with certain kinds of PTSD, but I like pyrotechnics. The fireworks themselves give me a certain amount of glee. And I appreciate the independence this country enjoys and was fought hard for. What I didn't enjoy this year was the "shoot'nic" my parents put on, inviting their friends to come on over, eat meat, and shoot guns. I was outspoken about the anxiety guns give me (for good and very personal reasons) and our dogs. But I was overruled, of course, so the "games" commenced, along with loud music with country artists singing about how proud they were to be rednecks and white trash - that's not me slandering those folks, it's their own words. I don't really have anything against the music itself. I just prefer "alternative country" artists that sing about real issues, and bluegrass.
I participated in the lunch, which I enjoyed (I brought vegetarian options for myself) and then the families with children left, along with those who didn't think to bring their own ear protection. Then I spent most of my time inside, along with my mom and an older lady that I figured she felt obligated to keep company. I was also functioning on three-to-four hours of sleep, so I went and laid down part of the time. Thanks to Gabepentin and Propranolol, I wasn't too anxious, and I also witnessed part of the gun action. Watching the shooting take place oddly alleviates my anxiety a little.
I participated in the lunch, which I enjoyed (I brought vegetarian options for myself) and then the families with children left, along with those who didn't think to bring their own ear protection. Then I spent most of my time inside, along with my mom and an older lady that I figured she felt obligated to keep company. I was also functioning on three-to-four hours of sleep, so I went and laid down part of the time. Thanks to Gabepentin and Propranolol, I wasn't too anxious, and I also witnessed part of the gun action. Watching the shooting take place oddly alleviates my anxiety a little.
Our big dog, Rocko, spent his time on my bed, huddled up against me. But I couldn't figure out why our little dog, Sheila, hadn't joined us. One of my worst fears for the day came true: somehow Sheila had gotten out and had run away. But they kept on shooting, even though she obviously wouldn't come back while the loud noises continued. Once everyone had left, the rest of the day was spent searching our thirty-three acres and along the highway that our house sits on for our lost pup. We had no success, and as night approached so did a thunder-and-lightning storm. Thunder is another of Sheila's fears, and I worried, as I laid awake all night, that we would never find her after that. It was also pouring rain, so I had images in my head of her soaked, shivering, and afraid. I'm surprised that I ever fell asleep, but thanks to Seroquel, I did. In my dreams, I kept visiting different scenarios in which we found her, and when I was woken the next day, it was with the wonderful news that my parents found Sheila on the neighbors' property; soaked and shivering, yes, but whole and safe. I just hope that this will be a lesson to my parents: no more fourth of July parties, especially with firearms or fireworks. Our dogs don't deserve it.
Before and after the holiday has seen me hard at work. I've completed eight songs since the release of Saturn Ascending, on top of the two that I cut from the album. The new EP is well on its way. I'll be cutting some songs from it and probably narrow it down to the old requisite of seven tracks. But this is just one project I've been working on. I've also been creating a playlist of songs from the three albums in which I've taken a more neoclassical path, Dialectical Observations, Pattern Recognition, and Saturn Ascending. It looks like it's going to be twenty tracks. I'm trying not to think of it as a "best of" album. That's gotten me into trouble before.
Previously, I tried to make a "best of" album of songs released between May 2015 and August 2016, beginning with the album Occultation and cutting off at the EP Elemental, with four exceptions of newer versions of older songs. I limited it to twenty songs; it's a nice round number and only a little excessive for a full-length album. It was called Nothing Left To Lose, and for a long time there was just a downloadable demo at my Patreon. When I signed on with my ex-label, Rehegoo Music, it was a catalyst for finally releasing it to the public. To not make it overwhelming, it was split into two parts. It contained my most popular radio "hits," such as "The Last Waltz" and "Darkest Dreams." There are also a few personal favorites, such as "Fervens" and "Safe in Cars." Four songs that had to be on there were "Introducing..."/"Jade's Theme," "Winter's Salve," "The Nocturnal Dervish," and "Fistfuls of Whimsy," all of which had more recent versions recorded. I slipped the "Alternate III," version of "Introducing..." in there, along with the "Simplified Mix" of "The Nocturnal Dervish," the new definitive version of "Winter's Salve," and the "Alternate Spin" of "Fistfuls of Whimsy." That's how you'll find it at Spotify, Google Play, Apple Music and iTunes, Amazon and Amazon Music Unlimited, Deezer, iHeartRadio, Napster, and TIDAL. A "Simpler Mix" of "The Nocturnal Dervish" that I like better has been recorded since, so I replaced the "Simplified Mix" with it at my Bandcamp store.
Rehegoo didn't distribute Nothing Left To Lose to YouTube - I keenly felt its absence and was disappointed that it wasn't accessible on what has become the leading method of the free streaming of music. So I put together a playlist myself. It consisted of my own uploads to YouTube, for which I don't receive royalties. Well, Google Play has been phasing out its music division in favor of YouTube Music, and in the process emailed all of its artists, of which I am an "official" one, of this change. They suggested artists email YouTube and verify themselves for that site, which I did. In doing this, I up-jumped my personal YouTube channel to my "official artist channel," and had all of DistroKid's uploads of my music transferred to it. Now, for these uploads I do receive streaming royalties, and this motivated me to replace all the videos in the Nothing Left To Lose playlist with my DistroKid videos. So here you have the "official" playlist of Nothing Left To Lose.
Limiting the track list to twenty songs was too, well, limiting. I became dissatisfied with Nothing Left To Lose. There were too many songs among a hundred-plus that feel essential to representing that busy time period, that were left out. Because of that, I constructed a Companion album of twenty more songs, again with some of the more popular tunes, plus a few personal favorites. This album accompanied downloads of Nothing Left To Lose as rewards for pledging at my Patreon. But when I revamped my Nothing Left To Lose playlist at my YouTube channel, it felt like the right time to make the Companion freely available for streaming well. After all, you can already stream all of its songs for free. They just weren't collected together in the Companion's presentation, and I wanted people to have access to these essential songs in one place. So here's the Nothing Left To Lose Companion as a YouTube playlist.
Again, I felt slightly limited. There were just a few songs missing that felt should be a part of this Essential Songs collection. I made a small Addendum that I filled out to the old seven-track requisite. Because of the short length of this EP, I decided to make downloads of it freely available at my NoiseTrade page. And as long as I was making Nothing Left To Lose and its Companion free to stream at my YouTube channel, I made a playlist of the final installment of the 47 Essential Songs collection.
So that wraps that up. However, I always like to leave you guys with something special, so here's another track that's almost certainly going to be on the upcoming EP, currently called Compromising (or Comprises?), that was cu from Saturn Ascending.
I hope this, and "Roundabout" in the article for Saturn Ascending, has you looking forward to the upcoming EP. My next article, if I get my act together, will be focusing on Lorenzo Masotto's new album, Frames, but if I don't get around to it, I strongly urge you to give it a listen, and if that moves you, to buy it and support this amazing composer. Until then (or the next EP) may your inner snails main resilient and determined.
UPDATE: The 47 Essential Songs are now at Spotify. Nothing Left To Lose Parts 1 and 2 were already there, but now the Nothing Left To Lose Companion album and Addendum are now playlists.
UPDATE: The 47 Essential Songs are now at Spotify. Nothing Left To Lose Parts 1 and 2 were already there, but now the Nothing Left To Lose Companion album and Addendum are now playlists.
