Man, February was a busy month. After publishing Sunward and Moonward, going through all the post-publication processes, and the promotional circus, I had the fourth anniversary of my debut EP, Progress Report (no longer available) on the 19th. Four years since I hit the "publish" button at Bandcamp and made my art accessible to the world. That was such a big step to take. I think every artist struggles with the "am I good enough" self-questioning, and then taking the leap to making their art public is the hardest step they're going to take. That's when I knew an album titled Nothing Left To Lose was down the road, because I literally had nothing left to lose - I was at a low point in my life - when I made that decision. It was also a reference to "Me and Bobby McGee." Aaah, but how freeing is having nothing left to lose and making a giant leap that'll make you fall no further down than you already are.
So here I am four years later, having created seven widely distributed albums, and developed my techniques and evolved with my craft along the way. I think I've seriously come a long way in how I create, and what I create. So I decided to let people freely have the best - or most popular - of my creations, at least up to the point of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. This was eight tracks, including "The Last Waltz," "Slowly Scooting Closer," "Darkest Dreams," "Simplify," "The Seventh Swan," "Wrong Pocket Kinda Day," and "The Cloud Walkers (Selenophilia Spin)." As usual, I had it up at my Snail Tunes page for a week, then transferred it over to my NoiseTrade page to sit alongside all the other free downloads I have on offer, including the previous three anniversary EPs. You can stream and download this year's gift, Momentum, here.
I'd gotten a lot of work done up to the point of Sunward and Moonward - fourteen tracks between them - and I've written and recorded even more songs since those EPs' release on February 5th. There's "Naiads and Dryads," "Charmed, I'm Sure," "Roundabout," "The Pantheon...," "...That Holds Up The Stars," "The First Time I Woke Up...," and "Two Sons." These are all written for the upcoming full-length album, Saturn Ascending, that I'm planning to release on May 1st. I've thought about trimming the current playlist, except it all flows together really well. It also includes songs from Moonward. It's a post-industrial album, so the more acoustic and mellow songs of Sunward don't really have a place on it. They don't fit with the overall tone. So what I've got is somewhat pretty, but harder and edgier than Sunward's songs. I'm really happy with how the album is turning out. I think it may be my best yet, even replacing Dialectical Observations as my favorite thing I've ever done. We'll see. Dialectical is pretty hard to beat.
While I was working on all of this, between songs, I was also working on new versions of "The Nocturnal Dervish." I'd known pretty much since publishing the "Simplified Mix" that my work with "Dervish" didn't end there. There were things about the "Simplified Mix" that rubbed me the wrong way, to the point where I couldn't decide if it really contended with the original version or not. The "surprises" that I snuck in there - some extra beats and effects, some changes in the bass - didn't sound that good to me in retrospect. And around the time I decided to include it on Nothing Left To Lose - which I distributed through a label I briefly flirted with, Rehegoo Music - I found the drum tracks overwhelming. And the point of the "Simplified Mix" was to, well, simplify them. It did that, but they were too loud and heavy. So I went into creating a new version with mostly that in mind.
But what I started with was combing through the piano tracks and nudging notes this way and that. I didn't want them to sound perfect. The original song was from a time when I wanted to record only that which I could perform live. However, my neuropathy makes the prospect of performing live impossible, so I eventually decided to embrace being a composer, rather than a rock performer. But back then, everything was raw and a little sloppy. I wanted to stay true to the original, so I did only light editing. I decided not to fuck with the strings and synths. They'd stood the test of time very well, and I didn't want to ruin a good thing. I just nudged a string at the end to a point where it harmonized better, and changed and rerecorded the final piano chords - I think it's the best ending yet. Then I started in on the drum tracks. In some placed, I simplified the beats even further when I thought they muddied the overall sound. In every segment I toned them down, or just moved the bass beats down a notch or two. I also turned down the volume on all the drum tracks (there are three). I carefully balanced them as best I could. And I messed with the volume, echo, and reverb of the other tracks as well. I pretty much remastered the entire song. What I ended up with is, hands down, my favorite version of "Dervish" yet, and I'm very happy to have this "Simpler Mix" to present to you.
Now, I was inspired by the recent work I'd done with "Naked" and "Acoustic" versions of "Why Can't We Have Nice Things?," "Pulses Intertwined," and "Pierced Heart." I'd been experimenting with seeing if songs, with more of a neoclassical structure and piano vibe to them, could stand on their own without the electric guitars, synths, and electronic beats. I thought those three songs did so rather well, and I was pretty certain that "The Nocturnal Dervish" would as well. First I stripped down the new "Simpler Mix," leaving just the piano, strings, and that one "theremin"-like synth that's essential to the melody of a section. It sounded great, and after some remastering, I had a beautiful "Naked" version. Then I recorded beats of an acoustic nature, focusing on hand drums, toms, and an acoustic rock kit. It was a long process. A lot of thought, experimentation, and deleting and rerecording went into it. I moved forward and backward, side-to-side. After I thought I'd finished it, I listened to it a few times, then went back and changed it. But eventually it settled and I felt like I had a perfect "acoustic" version. Then I went through the remastering process again. And I went back and remastered the "Naked" version. I went through that process with these two versions a few times before I decided I could upload them to the distributor, with two weeks before publication to ensure they would be released at midnight on all streaming platforms and online stores, in all time zones, at midnight, on March 13th. I picked the 13th because it was the two-year anniversary of the EP Counterbalance. I try to release my work on dates that are significant to me.
March has kind of sucked for me. I have sever neuropathy and I ran out of Lyrica. I didn't know how much it would debilitate me, but I was left hardly able to stand and with so little dexterity in my fingers that it was hard to type, let alone compose. My feet felt like they were aching, burning, or I was numb from the knees down. And I couldn't get through to my neurologist for about a week. So I was left only able to watch TV, and try to sleep when I could. Distract, they say, is a valuable coping tool in dialectical therapy. Well, I did a lot of trying to distract myself. And I went a week without being able to work, though I came up with some ideas. There are beautiful chords that wrapp up the new song "Two Sons" that I felt I could develop into a whole new song. There was a change in the beats of "The Pantheon..." (then simply called "Pantheon") that I wanted to try. But I had to wait until I could get Lyrica again. Gabapentin and Tramodol were helping with the pain, but not really managing it. This was a tough time to be me. Afterward, however, I implemented the change in "The Pantheon..." and wrote "...That Holds Up The Stars." Combined, hey make a beautiful opening to Saturn Ascending.
March 13th finally came around and The Nocturnal Dervish 2.0 was released, as planned, across the board in respective timezones at midnight. I clicked the "publish" button on Bandcamp at midnight in my own timezone, and now you can find it at YouTube and YouTube Music, Spotify, Google Play, Apple Music and iTunes, Amazon and Amazon Music Unlimited, Deezer, iHeartRadio, Napster, and TIDAL. Here we are now, the following day, with the promotional circus on a roll. I still have post-publishing work to do. It needs all the proper tagging, and the ISRCs need to be registered. With only three tracks, this should be easy. Facebook was fucking up yesterday, so I lost a whole day of promoting there, but I was able to publish on Google Plus (which will sadly be going away on April 22nd) and now I'm catching Facebook up. And this blog article should tell you everything you need to know!
Before I leave you, here's a special treat: "Naiads and Dryads," I think my most "finished" song for Saturn Ascending.
Farewell for now and, as always, may your inner snails remain resilient and determined.
