Saturday, June 2, 2018

Nothing Left To Lose, Part One


I finally went ahead and did it. It felt like time. My new contract with Rehegoo Music seemed to be the needed catalyst to finally bring it into the world. Nothing Left To Lose is an album I've talked about making since I started self-publishing music. The decision to finally take the big step of making my art available for public scrutiny was because, well, I had nothing left to lose. I was at the ultimate low-point of my life: recovering from an extended hospital stay that left me largely immobile, I kept my mind occupied by composing music, beginning with an app for my phone. That first EP was my Progress Report to the world of my recovery, and I decided it would be the first step toward an album called Nothing Left To Lose - also a reference to the Janis Joplin song "Me and Bobby McGee."

It never seemed the right time, the right special occasion, to finally assemble and publish the album, though I test-ran compilations of different names on myself and Patreon patrons over the years. They were all, invariable, "best of" compilations, up to that point in time. It seemed that I was just waiting for something. I've often said, when promoting the demo that's been a Patreon reward for quite a while now, that I was hoping Nothing Left To Lose would be my first album distributed on physical mediums - CDs and/or vinyl. To do that, I'd need to raise a lot of money independently, and if there's one thing I've learned is that I needed help. Artists such as Amanda Palmer, who have already made quite a name for themselves, will advise that getting into bed with a label is one of the worst things an artist can do. That can be perfectly valid counsel, so I've been skeptical and careful, and what I've found in Rehegoo Music is a label that will allow me to do exactly what I'm doing, the way I want, with a voice in how they handle whatever I pass on to them, on a non-exclusive basis. Really, it's an experiment for me - clearly, this is something I've never done before. But I think I've found the best possible entity, and way, to give this whole label thing a try. And I'm going for the full experience.

And how outstanding an ego boost is it that they scouted me out and approached me? Total bragging rights reserved there. Hopefully it doesn't bite me in the ass.

I've been letting Rehegoo take the lead on this one and treading carefully to try not to breach the contract, so I've let them publish this one first. As such, it's already available at Spotify, Google Play, Apple Music/iTunes, Amazon, Napster, and TIDAL.

A little about how I chose the songs and why: Track 01 was really a toss up between "Introducing... (Alternate III)" and "Jade's Theme (Introduction)," but I decided that "Alternate III" was more representative of the song's original intention, and "Introduction" was better suited on The Instrumentality Project, which it had been written for. "Alternate III" was actually written with Nothing Left To Lose in mind, while Jaded Winters was an excuse to make it public. Besides, I kind of like "Alternate III" better. Now I already have an idea for another version, that would be a cross between the two - well, I guess a simplified version of "Introduction." But that's for another time, and not until I have an excuse to publish it.

"Fervens" is just one of my favorites. It doesn't seem to have ever been really popular, but I consider it to be one of my best works. Originally inspired by Thom Yorke, it took the principle of "Simplify," that simplicity can create beautiful songs, and I wandered over it with some meandering acoustic guitar until it really took on life and built in intensity. Because it was a slow build, I took the latin for "simmer" or "to boil" for the title...to be a little pretentious, if I'm honest. I don't actually know latin. The Internet helped with that one.

"Simplify" was a hit, relatively. It was my most popular song at Soundcloud for quite a while, and it was also in regular rotation on a few radio stations. I believe it still is. It was an exercise in letting go of the mindset that the more complex a tune is, the better, and it was a lesson that simplicity can create beautiful art.

"Darkest Dreams" is the instrumental of "Sublime Like Swine," published because I couldn't decide if I liked it better with or without vocals. I decided that they both have their merits as separate entities, therefore deserved separate titles. The instrumental happens to be more popular, which is why it was chosen for Nothing Left To Lose. This is my "nu-metal" song, inspired by Placebo's "Post Blue" and sounding a bit as if it's from the Korn era of hard rock. It proved to be a bit of a hit, also earning airplay.

Another "hit", and one of my first to be put into regular radio rotation, "Slowly Scooting Closer" was a success that I henceforth tried to replicate, and ended up informing my songwriting thereafter. My music took on a more "darkwave" identity for quite a while. With Dialectical Observations, I've drifted away from that sound, but I proved with Neoclassism that I haven't shaken it off, and I probably never will completely. Therefore, it's one of the most representative songs of my music.

"Safe in Cars" is another personal favorite that has never been very popular, except, oddly, with classical music lovers on Google Plus. This was my "driving song," not just fun to drive to, but also a reminder that you can become too relaxed in your speedy metal boxes, with the occasional metallic burst to remind you to "Wake the fuck up!" and remain alert, because your safety is an illusion. Either you or someone else can cause an accident at any time; though, if anything, the road system is odd proof at how well-organized human beings can be when they agree on common sets of rules.

"Passage Through the Veil" was an attempt to replicate my once-upon-a-time "magnum opus" "The Cloud Walkers," trying for another post-industrial neoclassical-ish epic. I wasn't sure I'd succeeded, but it's subsequent popularity, especially after being highlighted in the Starlight Music Chronicles Artist of the Month competition, indicates that I have. It's been the most popular song at my YouTube channel, as well as on other streaming platforms at one point in time or another. This is my "wormhole" song, trying to capture the sense of falling down the rabbit hole, or lifting the veil between one reality and another, a sort of graceful vertigo, if that makes any kind of sense.

"The Last Waltz" is the most popular version of a quite popular song, "Giger's Lullaby," which now numbers eleven different versions, most known as "Waltz with Lilith" or "Waltz for Giger." As the most popular version, it was the logical choice for Nothing Left To Lose. "Last" was also one of my first to be accepted into radio rotation, on Darkwave Radio, another song wrapping me up in a much-explored gothic identity. The "Waltz"s were inspired by the biomechanical nightmares of surrealist H.R. Giger, whose one of my favorite artists of all time. I love any movie featuring his xenomorph, and the psychosexual evocations of his work are deliciously unsettling. To make a "lullaby" to wrap oneself in images that I've grown to find oddly comforting was the goal. Okay, it ended up kind of cheesy, but I think it's fun and delightfully gothic. And this is a version that hopefully inspires some kinetic energy, being a sort of post-industrial trip-hop remix.

"Winter's Salve" is my signature piano ballad, one of my earliest compositions, and a song that I continue to revisit. I decided to try my hand at writing something with a more classical style, which was also a test to see how much of my five years of piano lessons, from twenty years ago, had stuck. It began as "Winter's Discontent," as I went into my first winter of recovery from my hospitalization, anticipating a very dark period of my life. Instead, my attempts at solo composition kept me productive and buoyed my spirits. It became "Winter's Salve," and this is one of the newest versions, despite it having no subtitle to indicate as much. The original "Winter's Salve" was only ever a bonus track on a limited edition, and I'm kind of glad it's such a rarity, because it's grown to be much more solid over the past three years. I've decided to pretend this is the original. Like "Introducing (Alternate III)," it's a newer version than the prior-to-Dialectical Observations time period of the rest of Nothing Left To Lose, but I made an exception because it's derived from an old song.

And "Revolutions" has, like "Simplify," reigned as my most popular song on Soundcloud and other streaming platforms. Probably my most danceable tune, it was a test-run of an "intuitive" AI drummer that came with an upgrade of my composing program. Well, the drummer wasn't intuitive enough, though it did have some beats that would take me hours to program in note-by-note, so I took what it came up with and sliced and spliced it so that the emphases and swells were in the right places, also layering it over other drum tracks, as I went along.

So that wraps up Part One. Like I said, I've been letting Rehegoo take the lead on this one, so no word yet on when Part Two will arrive. I've just sent them an email nagging them about it, though. It took a few weeks after they received the tracks for this one to get published, so that may be the norm, though I sent the tracks for Part Two at the same time. Maybe they just feel that spacing them apart more is a better marketing strategy? I have no idea what goes on in their collective brains. They have multiple departments needing to communicate with each other, and I am by no means their only artist. However, "The Seventh Swan" is on Part Two, and has already appeared on one of their compilations. So I'm hoping Part Two is still a thing... Even if it isn't, I'll be going ahead and publishing it at my own store.

Here's to the future of Nothing Left To Lose! Until then, may your inner snails remain resilient and determined.






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