Saturn Ascends

I've been a medical mess lately, now with horrible recurring double vision (sometimes triple and quadruple) that has everyone mystified. I've seen my primary care, an optometrist, and an ophthalmologist about it, and all anyone's been able to say about it is, "Your eyes are really screwed up." Like, I know, that's why I'm seeing all these doctors about it! It's been interfering with my ability to work, watch or work on anything with a screen, and to drive.

I'm also getting tremors in my neck and hands. I could barely hold onto my phone the other day. So I just saw my neurologist about it, and he wants my back and brain scanned. My brain was just scanned about two months ago for the double vision.. No abnormalities, but what the hell. Now he's looking for a new problem. I'm already due for an MRI on my liver...maybe I can get them to do everything at once.

But whenever I can, I've been busy writing new songs, and now, not even a year after Pattern Recognition, I'm putting out my eighth full length album! Combined, Sunward and Moonward could have counted, but they didn't really have meshing themes. Well, I've continued down the path that led to Moonward, and now I have Saturn Ascending, which is my favorite thing I've done since Dialectical Observations, almost one-upping it. It's hard to say it's my favorite thing I've ever done, but it's damned close.

It all started with "Pulses Intertwined," which I was able to include on the extended version of Pattern Recognition, and then released as a single on November 30th of last year. That song represented a radical change in my songwriting. I was still on the neoclassical path that led to Pattern Recognition, but after the strings-oriented songs of that album, I returned to my first love, the piano. But the neoclassical riff I wrote demanded abrasive synths, electronic beats, and crunchy guitars, giving it a post-industrial vibe I hadn't really explored since Dialectical Observations. Almost directly afterward, I wrote its siblings "Pierced Heart" and "Dark Highways," both of which had the neoclassical piano, and post-industrial vibes. I was able to include them on an extended version of the single for "Pulses Intertwined."

I started writing more songs of the same style for the EP Moonward, and it turned out five of Moonward's songs were to be included on the upcoming album. I wrote more songs of the same ilk, specifically "Naiads and Dryads" and "Charmed, I'm Sure," both of which have an optimistic tone, but continue down a path of synths and electric guitars. "Naiads and Dryads" is more of a ballad, but "Charmed" has a streak of metal running through it. I was inspired by two older songs for these: "The Cloud Walkers" for "Charmed, I'm Sure," and "The Nocturnal Dervish" for "Naiads and Dryads." Mostly the piano in both cases. I also happened to be working on new versions of the "Dervish" at the time, and it got me switching riffs and variations for the piano on "Dryads," and got me putting in some of my "theremin" in there as well.

It turns out that almost all of the new songs I was writing had some sort of synths melody in them. There's three different bases for the customized synths. One is the "theremin," was is "hip-hop," and the other is "soprano vocals." At least, that's what they turn into once I've turned the dials and knobs. Actually, when I look over the track list, there's not that many. It's just "Pulsar Song," "Dark Highways," "Naiads and Dryads," and "Charmed, I'm Sure" (which really only has it in short bursts).

Let me delve some more into the inspiration for some of these songs. "The Pantheon..." is based on a little ditty I played in my early teens. I was taught it by my on-and-off girlfriend in middle school and high school. I know, a girlfriend, right? She thought it made a lot of sense when I came out of the closet. I'm still in touch with her: she called, somewhat in a panic, when her daughter came out as a lesbian. I know, a daughter old enough to come out. Sigh. I am thirty-six, you know.

Anyway, that ditty has stuck with me, and is the basis for some other songs, specifically "Jaded" and "Self-Righteous." But this is the first time I've played it all the way through. I think the accompanying beats and cello I wrote are pretty kick ass, and the experimental synth that provides some rhythm midway through is pretty interesting. But I was honestly pretty iffy as to whether or not this song would be on the album. I had two playlists going, and one began with "...That Holds Up The Stars" renamed "The Pantheon That Holds Up The Stars." But after playing the piano backward and forward and switching pieces of it down an octave, I did some editing that added a few notes. Those additional notes reinvigorated my enthusiasm for the song, and after upping the tempo, it became pretty concrete that "The Pantheon..." would begin the album.

"...That Holds Up The Stars" is based on four chords I thought were particularly beautiful, that concluded another song, "Two Sons," which didn't make it onto the album. Well, "Sons" is actually a bonus track on the Snail Tunes version. Anyway, I got a kick-ass beat to go with "Stars," and its fate to be on the album was sealed from there. The rest of it wasn't very hard to write. I wrote an accompanying piano melody, and layer by layer it came together. Like I said, it almost started the album. Instead, it became an extreme one-eighty from the opening track. Together, they're pretty incongruous, yet I thought it was a pretty amusing pairing.

"Elation" became an almost new song to me once I edited the violin melody. The change is probably pretty imperceptible to most people. I just nudged a couple of lines back a little bit so they were better timed with the rest of the instrumentation. It made a world of difference to me, though. It's funny, I wasn't entirely convinced of this song when I put it on Moonward, yet it grew on me more and more, and it's streak of metal cemented its place on this album, as almost every song has a similar streak. I'm pretty enthusiastic about this song now, and it pairs very well with "Charmed, I'm Sure," Both songs have pretty optimistic tones. For as much as this album is post-industrial and metallic, overall it's a pretty light-hearted record. I hope that strikes a chord with my friends, family, and followers.

"In The Beginning" almost didn't make it onto the album, but I wanted to show off the rapid-fire piano that streaks through the middle and the electric guitars that conclude them. The problem was pretty much the beginning, which was really hard to come up with. It was a stroke of pure inspiration to place the climactic strings - that run through a repeat of a piano riff and electric guitars - at the beginning. That seemed to solve the problem, and it convinced me to include this song on the album.

"The First Time I Woke Up..." is one of my favorite things I've ever written. Some might find the opening synth a bit piercing - I turned the treble way down to the point I think it actually works. But it gives the song an ambience, with alternations with a bass synth, that I absolutely love. It's one of the most ambient things I've ever written, and I find it very soothing to my soul. Even the metal guitars are very soothing to me. Though I used to be a metal-head, I've never found metal to be particularly soothing. Maybe some post-metal instrumentals. Mostly I find it abrasive and energizing. But here it relaxes me, and also earns its place on the album. I thought it would make a great conclusion, giving it a soft landing. I like soft landings. They cushion the particularly energetic songs that come before. This album may have a pretty ambient beginning, but just like Moonward it builds in energy as it progresses. So landing in an ambient cloud sort of bookends the album.

Two pretty notable songs didn't make it into the main body of the album. They had a place in the playlist, but I thought they didn't mesh well with the overall theme. Here you can give one of the songs a listen and judge for yourself:

"Roundabout" and "Two Sons" are included as bonus tracks on the Snail Tunes version of the album. The standard version can be found at YouTube and YouTube Music, Spotify, Google Play, iTunes and Apple Music, Amazon and Amazon Music Unlimited, Deezer, iHeartRadio, Napster, and TIDAL.

I'm having pretty bad double-vision as I'm typing this, so I'm going to wrap it up. Thank you for all your support, and I hope you enjoy the new album. May your inner snails remain resilient and determined.

The Nocturnal Dervish Lives!

Man, February was a busy month. After publishing Sunward and Moonward, going through all the post-publication processes, and the promotional circus, I had the fourth anniversary of my debut EP, Progress Report (no longer available) on the 19th. Four years since I hit the "publish" button at Bandcamp and made my art accessible to the world. That was such a big step to take. I think every artist struggles with the "am I good enough" self-questioning, and then taking the leap to making their art public is the hardest step they're going to take. That's when I knew an album titled Nothing Left To Lose was down the road, because I literally had nothing left to lose - I was at a low point in my life - when I made that decision. It was also a reference to "Me and Bobby McGee." Aaah, but how freeing is having nothing left to lose and making a giant leap that'll make you fall no further down than you already are.

So here I am four years later, having created seven widely distributed albums, and developed my techniques and evolved with my craft along the way. I think I've seriously come a long way in how I create, and what I create. So I decided to let people freely have the best - or most popular - of my creations, at least up to the point of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. This was eight tracks, including "The Last Waltz," "Slowly Scooting Closer," "Darkest Dreams," "Simplify," "The Seventh Swan," "Wrong Pocket Kinda Day," and "The Cloud Walkers (Selenophilia Spin)." As usual, I had it up at my Snail Tunes page for a week, then transferred it over to my NoiseTrade page to sit alongside all the other free downloads I have on offer, including the previous three anniversary EPs. You can stream and download this year's gift, Momentum, here.

I'd gotten a lot of work done up to the point of Sunward and Moonward - fourteen tracks between them - and I've written and recorded even more songs since those EPs' release on February 5th. There's "Naiads and Dryads," "Charmed, I'm Sure," "Roundabout," "The Pantheon...," "...That Holds Up The Stars," "The First Time I Woke Up...," and "Two Sons." These are all written for the upcoming full-length album, Saturn Ascending, that I'm planning to release on May 1st. I've thought about trimming the current playlist, except it all flows together really well. It also includes songs from Moonward. It's a post-industrial album, so the more acoustic and mellow songs of Sunward don't really have a place on it. They don't fit with the overall tone. So what I've got is somewhat pretty, but harder and edgier than Sunward's songs. I'm really happy with how the album is turning out. I think it may be my best yet, even replacing Dialectical Observations as my favorite thing I've ever done. We'll see. Dialectical is pretty hard to beat.

While I was working on all of this, between songs, I was also working on new versions of "The Nocturnal Dervish." I'd known pretty much since publishing the "Simplified Mix" that my work with "Dervish" didn't end there. There were things about the "Simplified Mix" that rubbed me the wrong way, to the point where I couldn't decide if it really contended with the original version or not. The "surprises" that I snuck in there - some extra beats and effects, some changes in the bass - didn't sound that good to me in retrospect. And around the time I decided to include it on Nothing Left To Lose - which I distributed through a label I briefly flirted with, Rehegoo Music - I found the drum tracks overwhelming. And the point of the "Simplified Mix" was to, well, simplify them. It did that, but they were too loud and heavy. So I went into creating a new version with mostly that in mind.

But what I started with was combing through the piano tracks and nudging notes this way and that. I didn't want them to sound perfect. The original song was from a time when I wanted to record only that which I could perform live. However, my neuropathy makes the prospect of performing live impossible, so I eventually decided to embrace being a composer, rather than a rock performer. But back then, everything was raw and a little sloppy. I wanted to stay true to the original, so I did only light editing. I decided not to fuck with the strings and synths. They'd stood the test of time very well, and I didn't want to ruin a good thing. I just nudged a string at the end to a point where it harmonized better, and changed and rerecorded the final piano chords - I think it's the best ending yet. Then I started in on the drum tracks. In some placed, I simplified the beats even further when I thought they muddied the overall sound. In every segment I toned them down, or just moved the bass beats down a notch or two. I also turned down the volume on all the drum tracks (there are three). I carefully balanced them as best I could. And I messed with the volume, echo, and reverb of the other tracks as well. I pretty much remastered the entire song. What I ended up with is, hands down, my favorite version of "Dervish" yet, and I'm very happy to have this "Simpler Mix" to present to you.

Now, I was inspired by the recent work I'd done with "Naked" and "Acoustic" versions of "Why Can't We Have Nice Things?," "Pulses Intertwined," and "Pierced Heart." I'd been experimenting with seeing if songs, with more of a neoclassical structure and piano vibe to them, could stand on their own without the electric guitars, synths, and electronic beats. I thought those three songs did so rather well, and I was pretty certain that "The Nocturnal Dervish" would as well. First I stripped down the new "Simpler Mix," leaving just the piano, strings, and that one "theremin"-like synth that's essential to the melody of a section. It sounded great, and after some remastering, I had a beautiful "Naked" version. Then I recorded beats of an acoustic nature, focusing on hand drums, toms, and an acoustic rock kit. It was a long process. A lot of thought, experimentation, and deleting and rerecording went into it. I moved forward and backward, side-to-side. After I thought I'd finished it, I listened to it a few times, then went back and changed it. But eventually it settled and I felt like I had a perfect "acoustic" version. Then I went through the remastering process again.  And I went back and remastered the "Naked" version. I went through that process with these two versions a few times before I decided I could upload them to the distributor, with two weeks before publication to ensure they would be released at midnight on all streaming platforms and online stores, in all time zones, at midnight, on March 13th. I picked the 13th because it was the two-year anniversary of the EP Counterbalance. I try to release my work on dates that are significant to me.

March has kind of sucked for me. I have sever neuropathy and I ran out of Lyrica. I didn't know how much it would debilitate me, but I was left hardly able to stand and with so little dexterity in my fingers that it was hard to type, let alone compose. My feet felt like they were aching, burning, or I was numb from the knees down. And I couldn't get through to my neurologist for about a week. So I was left only able to watch TV, and try to sleep when I could. Distract, they say, is a valuable coping tool in dialectical therapy. Well, I did a lot of trying to distract myself. And I went a week without being able to work, though I came up with some ideas. There are beautiful chords that wrapp up the new song "Two Sons" that I felt I could develop into a whole new song. There was a change in the beats of "The Pantheon..." (then simply called "Pantheon") that I wanted to try. But I had to wait until I could get Lyrica again. Gabapentin and Tramodol were helping with the pain, but not really managing it. This was a tough time to be me. Afterward, however, I implemented the change in "The Pantheon..." and wrote "...That Holds Up The Stars." Combined, hey make a beautiful opening to Saturn Ascending.

March 13th finally came around and The Nocturnal Dervish 2.0 was released, as planned, across the board in respective timezones at midnight. I clicked the "publish" button on Bandcamp at midnight in my own timezone, and now you can find it at YouTube and YouTube Music, Spotify, Google Play, Apple Music and iTunes, Amazon and Amazon Music Unlimited, Deezer, iHeartRadio, Napster, and TIDAL.  Here we are now, the following day, with the promotional circus on a roll. I still have post-publishing work to do. It needs all the proper tagging, and the ISRCs need to be registered. With only three tracks, this should be easy. Facebook was fucking up yesterday, so I lost a whole day of promoting there, but I was able to publish on Google Plus (which will sadly be going away on April 22nd) and now I'm catching Facebook up. And this blog article should tell you everything you need to know!

Before I leave you, here's a special treat: "Naiads and Dryads," I think my most "finished" song for Saturn Ascending.

Farewell for now and, as always, may your inner snails remain resilient and determined.

Ever Sunward and Moonward

It's been a busy Fall and Winter, coming on the heels of my last full-length album, Pattern Recognition. I've always had some project or other keeping me busy as the cold has been keeping me indoors. And, for the most part, I've been really inspired. Even before Pattern Recognition was published, during the window between sending it in to my distributor and publication, I had new songs going. When I was less busy writing for the album, I kept myself going by taking on a challenge my step-dad put to me. He's often asked me how I expect to get a job composing for film or television if I don't have a soundtrack to submit. I've often thought that some filmmaker would hear my work, get interested, and hire me on, because it's kind of a chicken-or-the-egg thing, right? How do I write a soundtrack to something unless I get hired to do it. Well, my step-dad's suggestion has been to make some sort of sample. Edit some video together or shoot something, then score it. He also put forth a particular challenge: to score his favorite poem, "Ulysses," by Alfred Tennyson.

I was coming off an album that was largely ambient-neoclassical, with less weird synths and electric guitars than I usually use. I'd placed a lot of focus on strings arrangements, but I found myself returning to the piano. I'd been heading down a more acoustic path, and that's what I felt would fit well with a "soundtrack" vibe. I was also asked by my step-dad to "keep in mind you aren't writing for twenty-somethings." I didn't point out that most twenty-somethings don't listen to instrumental music. I've taken a look at the demographics on streaming sites and found that my music mostly appeals to the 40-50 age range. But, well, he's in his late seventies, and I've always been somewhat ahead of my time, so I guess we meet in the middle somewhere, right? Anyway, I decided to write something that's a bit different for me, and to keep a mostly acoustic mindset.

"Ulysses" has a lot of mariner-and-the-sea metaphors and imagery going on, so I felt immediately pulled in the direction of using swelling strings to convey the sea, and to use tinkling plucked guitar strings for the wind. I kept things simple, swelling and ebbing at first, but I feel the poem gradually builds in intensity. So I had simple acoustic drums and piano building in complexity. From listening to other soundtracks, I decided I need to use rapid staccato strings more in my music. So they help bring the song to its crescendo. I had the criticism that the song builds and doesn't really go anywhere. I felt that was kind of unjust, as I feel the climax and its conclusion are satisfying, but eh, to each their own, right? Every opinion is valid (unless it's not mine).

There was the thought of inserting a voiceover of the poem in the song. I was on the fence about it, even put it forth to a British friend (the voice has to be British, you see) but I guess he was busy at the time. I thought of turning to a friend who's a radio personality with a voice for it - I really didn't want to do the reading myself. Anyway, he isn't British. Nothing really panned out, and like I said, I was on the fence about it anyway. In the end, I decided to let the music stand on its own. I never did share it with my step-dad. His point was that I send it to filmmakers. I also learned later that he was thinking of twenty minutes of music for every couple of lines, which would make it longer than any motion picture length score, and I had written three minutes of music for a poem it would take less than three minutes to recite. So, different expectations, you know? I haven't sent it to any filmmakers, or outright said it was a soundtrack for a poem, except for here and now, and in posts for the song in particular, but I thought it would make a nice intro. It was set as track 01 on Sunward from pretty much the beginning.

"Never Been to San Francisco" was written about the same time. It was something that I kept coming back to and toying around with. Originally it was inspired by the piano intro of Tori Amos' "Muhammad My Friend," but I just haven't got the practice of writing something for piano that intricate for an extended period. I ended up just rewriting the piano in a few different ways and structuring the song around these variations. That's how my writing style works a lot of the time, if you haven't noticed. "Counterintuitive" and "Toes" are much the same way. Again in "San Francisco" you hear me trying out those bursts of rapidly staccato strings that were used in "Ulysses." And apparently I liked that tinkling of guitar strings so much that I used something similar in "Counterintuitive."

I was still in somewhat of a "soundtrack" mindset when I was writing "San Francisco," so it's largely acoustic and has some shifting moods. But "Counterintuitive" and "Toes," while using the method-of-variations writing style that I employed in "San Francisco," found me returning to using electronic sounds. They're pretty mellow, however. Even though Sunward was turning out to be acoustically themed, they felt better suited for that EP, when I finally decided there were going to be two EPs. That was a painful tug-of-war, deciding on an album or two EPs. You can tell which side of the fence I finally landed on. What both options had in common (I had playlists for each) was that they ended with "Toes." Not really sure why. I wasn't even sure if I was going to share "Toes." I don't think it's by any means an example of my best work. It was mostly written because it was amusing me at the time, but it continues to amuse me, and it kept growing on me. I hope it provides some relaxation for folks, as that's its primary goal. To just provide some stimulation with the variations, and to provide comfort with its repetition. And I like the beats. I think the beats worked out quite well, and the swells of electronics were particularly inspired.

The name "Toes" came to me because it was written around the same time as "San Francisco," which had been going by the name "Twinkle." So, "Twinkle" and "Toes," get it? Twinkle toes. It just never changed.

Now, while writing for Pattern Recognition, I had stripped down "Why Can't We Have Nice Things?" to a "Naked" version without beats, synths (almost entirely), electric guitars, or the blaring bassoon, and included it as a bonus track on a version of Pattern exclusive to my Snail Tunes store. I decided early on that I wanted to make it more accessible to people, and that it would be included on my next project. But I took it the next level by putting beats back into it, but this time oriented around hand drums, toms, and other acoustic sounds. So the "Naked" version is still exclusive to that version of Pattern Recognition. I'm sharing the "Acoustic" version here, instead.

Similarly to "Why Can't We Have Nice Things?" I thought a couple of my newer songs could stand well on their own without electronic sounds. Those would be "Pulses Intertwined" and "Pierced Heart," of course. With their neoclassical-like piano and strings, I felt you could strip away the electric guitars, synths, and beats, and still have complete songs. With the acoustic sounds of "Ulysses," "San Francisco," and "Why Can't We Have Nice Things?" it seemed only natural to include them on Sunward. And as long as I was stripping songs down to their neoclassical elements, I thought it would be interesting to try on a much older song, "The Nocturnal Dervish." I'd already been finally getting around to making the "Simpler Mix" that I'd been thinking of doing pretty much since I published the "Simplified Mix," and I was inspired to try it out with its barest bones. I think this worked out quite well. With some of the subtle changes I'd made for the "Simpler Mix," I made a "Naked" version. I had to keep the "theremin"-like synth that provides the melody for a large chunk of the song, and I translated the electric bass to an upright for the end of the song where the bass is a necessity, but it all worked out quite well, and I really wanted to share it. So it's a hidden bonus track on Sunward at Snail Tunes, but to make it a little more widely accessible, I've included it here for you as well.

You can find the standard version of Sunward at Amazon, Google Play, iTunes and Apple Music, Spotify, TIDAL, Deezer, YouTube and YouTube Music, Napster, and iHeartRadio.

I was really torn about whether to put out a full-length album or two EPs, so I worked on both until it was decided, which was uncomfortably close to when I sent the EPs on to the distributor. When I was working on the album playlist, I found myself integrating two different styles. I'd been continuing down the ambient-neoclassical path set before me on Pattern Recognition when writing "Ulysses" and "Never Been To San Francisco," then found myself doing almost a complete one-eighty. I wrote a two-handed neoclassical piano piece, but it was demanding electronic beats and electric guitars. It was also a bit darker than anything I'd written in a while, and the synths I found myself inspired toward were rather abrasive. I found myself writing as if for my sixth album, Dialectical Observations, but with some of the techniques I'd picked up while working on Pattern Recognition, and I thought this was perhaps the most inspired piece I'd worked on in quite sometime. It came out in a rush, and I found myself wanting to share "Pulses Intertwined" almost right away. I was sending it in to radio stations and hosts when I should have been promoting for Pattern - it felt that done and that complete, that quickly. The single was released, belatedly, about two months later, after it was aired by pretty much every entity I'd sent it to. It was, of course, the first preview of what would be coming on my next project.

"Pulses Intertwined" represented a shift in writing style for me. First, it was taken in a darker direction, as evident in "Dark Highways." And I was back to using synths, electric guitars, and electronic beats in "Pierced Heart." These two songs felt like siblings to "Pulses." "Pierced Heart" was written using pretty much the same formula of neoclassical piano surrounded by post-industrial elements. "Dark Highways" and "Pierced Heart" were included as bonus tracks on a Patreon exclusive version of the single for "Pulses Intertwined," and all three were bonus tracks on the Snail Tunes version of Dialectical Observations (Remastered). I just couldn't keep a lid on those songs for very long. I think I showed great restraint in making them exclusive to those versions of the single and the album.

As I wrote more songs following "Pulses Intertwined" that were darker, edgier, or higher-energy, it became apparent that splitting a potential album into Sunward and Moonward (the names were picked out before a decision was made) was the way to go. "Elation" sounded as though it could have been on Pattern Recognition, and maybe because of that it could have been on Sunward, except that it had a mile-wide streak of metal running through it. And even though "Counterintuitive" has electric guitars in it, "Elation" wasn't nearly mellow enough for Sunward. "Thump!" (not the most imaginative title, but I never felt like it needed changing) like "Elation" was a bit lighter in tone than "Pulses," "Highways," or "Pierced," but it has heavy electronic beats, making it, well, too heavy for Sunward. And "Self-Righteous" was calling to mind Dialectical Observations' "Movement," definitely too industrial for Moonward's light-hearted sister.

The two EPs found themselves balancing each other out at every step, and just when I thought that perhaps I shouldn't include one of the acoustic versions of Sunward to make them even at six tracks each, I started writing "Pulsar Song." While listening to a song on a soundtrack for a television show - I can't remember what, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't part of the instrumental score - I was struck by the exceedingly simple electric guitar riff that the song was built around. There was no reason why I couldn't do the same, or why I should feel "bad" about doing so. It was one of those times I had to remind myself that complexity doesn't necessarily make for a good song; that a song can be impactful even if it's simple. And, thanks to that song, I already had a simple, stately electric guitar riff stuck in my head. I went ahead and recorded it, and other simple elements began to build themselves around it. It quickly began to grow on me, and after translating the piano to cello halfway through, and then picking up the pace of the beats, I was sold on it. Kind of last-minute, I had a song that was a fitting second track to transition from the ambience of "Dark Highways" to the higher energy of the rest of the EP. And I had evened Moonward out with Sunward, so that all of the acoustic versions could be included and still have a matching number of tracks.

Now, pretty much ever since publishing "The Nocturnal Dervish (Simplified Mix)," I had felt torn about some of the additions I made to it after putting so much emphasis on simplifying it. There would almost certainly be a simplified "Simplified Mix," and the time came when I had finished writing songs for Sunward and Moonward. The time was long overdue, actually, since upon listening to Nothing Left To Lose I really wanted to remaster the song as well. I'd just grown increasingly dissatisfied with it, and wanted also to breathe new life back into one of my songs that has long been one of my most popular. So I combed through it's instrumentation. I wanted to be careful not to change too much, but I adjusted the volume and position of a note here and there, particularly in the piano and bass. I thought a lot of it withstood the test of time rather well. No changes felt necessary for the synths or most of the strings, and when it came to both, I didn't want to chance ruining a good thing by obsessing or rerecording. I changed the position of a couple of cello notes, and that was it. And I rerecorded the closing piano chords, and I'm actually really happy with that. All around, I'm extremely happy with how it all turned out. And it made the "Naked" version that much better. But I like to think that this is "The Nocturnal Dervish" as it's meant to be heard, remastered and reinvigorated. It's been included as a hidden bonus track on the Snail Tunes version of Moonward, but again, I wanted to make it a little more widely accessible, so here it is:

I  also like to make all of my blog readers feel a little extra special, so I hope the inclusion of these two bonuses do the appropriate stroking. Enjoy!

The standard version of Moonward can also be found at Amazon, Google Play, iTunes and Apple Music, Spotify, TIDAL, Deezer, YouTube and YouTube Music, Napster, and iHeartRadio.

I hope these two EPs sate your appetites for my music for a while. I've already written and recorded two new songs, and have a third and fourth in the works, toward my next project, which will be a full-length album, with material from Sunward and Moonward, and original songs. Until then, may your inner snails remain resilient and determined!

Dialectical Observations (Remastered)

This has been a somewhat laborious project, three months in the making. It started with an album intended to bring my label (ex-label?), Rehegoo Music, up to speed on my discography: Legends of the Small collected eight tracks each from the albums Dialectical Observations and Pattern Recognition. To make it a little extra special, and to give Rehegoo some exclusive content, I remastered six of the songs from Dialectical. I was disappointed to find out that the label wanted only exclusive content, and would not be publishing Legends. I decided to make the album an exclusive Patreon patron reward. But I still wanted a way to share those six remastered songs.

I thought of inserting them in an upcoming album, where they would be piled on top of the eight new songs I already had at the time. There was also the possibility of releasing them on their own EP, which would be called The Dialectical Sessions; I made a cover and everything.

But then the most logical conclusion arrived: I thought, "Hey, I've already remastered six songs from a nine-track album. Why not just remaster the remaining three?" for a remastered edition of the whole album.

I'd thought of releasing an EP of new songs on the Winter Solstice, but in the end, I wanted to reserve them for a full-length album and keep them close to my vest. But I could still put out something on what to me is a special day to me: it's my winter holiday, one I should be celebrating at Short Mountain with the Radical Faeries. But I can't drive that far in my condition, and I lack the funds to travel anyway. Still, I can celebrate in my own way. With music! So I set that date to release the remastered edition of Dialectical Observations. In between writing new songs, I worked on remastering the remaining three songs. I'm very happy with all of them, but I'm especially fond of the new "Movement (Alternate Spin)".

For "Movement," I ended up returning to the original project file. I removed a whole synth track that wasn't really clearly defined and I thought just muddied up the song. Then I combed through each track and repositioned notes where I felt it was necessary, and I started over the remastering process from the beginning. With the other songs, I made adjustments according to the originals' final MP3 320s. For this, I went from project file to AIF on headphones, to AIF on external speakers, to MP3 on headphones, and finishing with MP3 on external speakers. It was tedious, but the result is that each instrument is clearly distinguishable and not muddied up by too much bass. Actually, with each song I turned down the bass in favor of treble, and often added more ringing reverb. I also turned down the drum tracks so they didn't take away the focus from the other instruments.

I won't review the inspiration and stories behind each song, as you can already read all about it in the article for the original version of the album. But I will say the original has done me proud. "Fleeting Fractals" ended up being kind of a "sleeper hit," but it eventually made its radio rounds and continues to be in rotation on some stations. It was used to represent the album in the review by Starlight Music Chronicles. And it's been Shazamed a number of times. Right now, "When Anchorage Became an Island," is my most-played song on Apple Music. On Bandcamp, it's my album with the most Facebook Likes, even more than albums by artists whom I consider superior and are inspirations for me. I can only hope that this remastered edition garners as much attention and that people agree with me that the remastered songs are an improvement.

Now, you may have noticed that the Snail Tunes edition of the album above is twelve tracks instead of the original nine. I'd thought of releasing an EP called Pulses Intertwined of four new songs, named for the song "Pulses Intertwined," which had made its radio rounds shortly after the release of Pattern Recognition. That was originally planned for the December 21st release date. Instead, I released "Pulses" as a single on another significant date, November 30th. I was trying to hold out on exposing the other songs planned for the Pulses EP, but here are three of them as bonus tracks on this exclusive version of the EP. Unfortunately, they are not available for individual download; you have to download the entire album.

When I had been writing mostly-acoustic soundtrack-like songs, "Pulses Intertwined" pulled me back into a more post-industrial mode of songwriting. That became a trend with "Pierced Heart," and "Dark Highways" to a lesser extent. These songs demanded more synths, but were relatively minimalist, and "Pulses" and "Pierced" called for electric guitars. This was a style of songwriting I hadn't really explored for over a year. Pattern Recognition and many of the following songs are in a more neoclassical ambient-acoustic style. Dialectical Observations was one of my first steps in the neoclassical direction, but was full of odd beats, abrasive synths, and electric guitars. "Pulses Intertwined," "Pierced Heart," and "Dark Highways" are somewhat in the same vein, and I thought they'd fit in well with Dialectical Observations, so I'm making them publicly available a little sooner than a full-length album. Still, they are exclusive to the Snail Tunes version of Dialectical Observations (Remastered).

I had a bit of difficulty in getting this album submitted to stores and streaming platforms. My distributor recommended the title format for the songs to have versions defined by parentheses, and any more specifications in brackets, so some of the titles looked like this: "Movement (Alternate Spin) [Remastered 2018]". I thought that looked a lot messier than "Movement (Alternate Spin) - Remastered 2018," but I went with their recommendation. It was rejected by stores, which I was informed of a week after first submitting the album. With only a week left before the release date, I decided to make it as simple as possible: I just went with simple song-titles-only with the album title defining it as "Remastered," and I hoped the album title would speak for the songs themselves. But you'll notice above that the Snail Tunes version has each song marked as "Remastered 2018," which I had wanted for the songs at each store and streaming platform. But when submitting it, it seemed simpler was better. And even though I submitted it to my distributor with only a week to go, it was still released at Amazon, Google Play, iTunes and Apple Music, Spotify, TIDAL, Deezer, YouTube, iHeartRadio, and Napster at midnight on the Winter Solstice, as I had been hoping. So, yeah, I think simpler was better, when getting the album released on time.

Now I'll leave you with something extra special, as usual. My step-father challenged me to write a score for Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem "Ulysses," to see how well I could write a soundtrack for something. This is what I came up with, with building cymbals and twinkling acoustic guitar to reflect the mariner metaphors in the poem. It was a return to the piano for me, but there are string arrangements, that first come in swells and bursts as the ocean waves. I thought of having a voiceover of the poem in this, but instead I'm leaving it to the reader to listen to this simultaneously. Give it a try! Just Google the poem and play this tune.

This started the trend of more soundtrack-like pieces I started composing, before "Pulses Intertwined" interrupted and took me in a more post-industrial direction. That's a continuing trend right now, though my latest composition, "Elation," sounds almost as if it belongs on Pattern Recognition, except it has some very metal interludes.

I hope you enjoy this little bonus song, and the remastered edition of Dialectical Observations. Until later, may your inner snails remain resilient and determined.

Legends of the Small and Pulses Intertwined

It's been a long time since I've written, and this article has been delayed, especially on the subject of Legends of the Small. So close on the heels of Pattern Recognition, I decided to make a compilation album for my label, Rehegoo Music, that would catch them up on my repertoire, with the goal of publishing it on Halloween. It would collect songs from Dialectical Observations and Pattern Recognition. It turned out to have eight songs from each. To make it extra special, I even remastered six of the songs from Dialectical Observations. The track list turned out thusly:

01. When Anchorage Became an Island - Remastered 2018

02. Man Seeking Cocoon (for NSA LTR) - Remastered 2018

03. Familial Germs - Remastered 2018

04. Gravity Time Power Love

05. Android with a God Complex

06. Fleeting Fractals - 2018

07. Otaku

08. Revel

09. Less Sinister Cousins - Remastered 2018

10. Heart of Hearts

11. Signor Fancypants

12. Movement (Alternate Spin) - Remastered 2018

13. Why Can't We Have Nice Things?

14. Butterflies on Ganymede

15. Reciprocal

16. Probing

I was very proud of how the track ordering turned out. I was very proud of the remastered songs, hoping they demonstrated my growth as a sound technician, and I was especially proud of how "Movement" turned out - I started over from scratch with that song, whereas the others I just adjusted the levels of the individual instrument tracks: volume, bass, treble, echo, reverb - that sort of thing. With "Movement," I combed through each track and adjusted the positions of certain notes, took out a synth all together, and adjusted the levels in my composing program, then as an AIF, then as an MP3. It was tedious, but definitely worth it, in my opinion. These remastered tracks would be exclusive to Rehegoo Music, and I thought they'd bite.

However, Rehegoo didn't want to publish any songs that had been published before, such as they did with Nothing Left To Lose, Parts 1 and 2, and even went as far as asking me to take down all of my previous works. I felt they were backing me, a non-exclusive artist, into an exclusivity corner. I made my stance clear, that I had worked too hard on my prior EPs and albums, and they said they understood. But suffice to say, they did not publish Legends of the Small.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. First, I emailed them the ZIP of Legends a couple of weeks before Halloween, and it wasn't downloaded. It turned out my contact was out of the office, and wouldn't be back until a couple of days before Halloween. When he returned, he told me there was no way they could publish it by then. But I had my heart set on Halloween, so I published it at my Patreon, hoping that Rehegoo would make it public later on - I really wanted those remastered tracks to be publicly available. Now, because Rehegoo has rejected it, it's exclusive to my Patreon. If you want to download a copy, you'll have to make the appropriate pledge. Remember that I don't collect pledges until I put out an EP or album, and you also get that release. I'm thinking the next one won't be until the Lunar New Year in February.

Now, I still really wanted to make those remastered tracks publicly available, so what to do? I toyed around with the idea of releasing them on an EP of their own, titled The Dialectical Sessions. I also thought of including them on the next album. Then I decided to go all-out and remaster the three remaining songs, and release a completely remastered edition of Dialectical Observations. So that's what I've been most recently working on. It'll be out on the Winter Solstice.

Since cementing the track list for Pattern Recognition, and amidst the remastering of songs for Legends of the Small, I'd been working on new songs, and now have a total of eight toward a new album. At a challenge from my step-dad to create a soundtrack to the Tennyson poem "Ulysses," I created something a bit different than before, and it's carried on in a lot of my recent work - neoclassical compositions more fitting for a soundtrack than a rock album. It's also carried over from the mostly strings arrangements of Pattern Recognition and the more neoclassical feel of both Dialectical and Pattern, except these songs have been largely acoustic. Then I wrote "Pulses Intertwined."

It was a definite switch from the material I'd been writing. Yes, I'd switched from the strings arrangements of Pattern back to the piano, but this brought me back to post-industrial territory, which I'd left for about a year. This felt in the same vein as "Fleeting Fractals," though it was more akin to "The Cloud Walkers." Actually, I felt it could be my next "Cloud Walkers," a piano-led post-industrial epic with metal and EDM elements. When I was promoting for Pattern, I felt I should send in "Android with a God Complex" to radio stations. Instead, on an impulse, I sent around "Pulses." They all played it, including stations that I had submitted to in the past and had never played my music before. I was uplifted, encouraged, and felt this could be my next popular song. After circulating for a while, I felt it should really be publicly accessible, and it seemed appropriate to release it as a single.

I chose November 30th for its release because it's a significant day for me: my brother shot and killed my father and step-mother twenty-three years ago. It still has quite an effect on me. This year, I was alone and isolated, out in the middle of nowhere while I was housesitting, and it felt like I cried for two days straight. I wanted to do something musically oriented to help me cope, though it didn't help much. Instead, I found myself trapped in my head, and dwelling on certain factors. My brother grew up fetishizing machines of death - guns and military equipment. He came to fantasize that he was a paramilitary soldier, and wanted me to be the same. He was abusive to "discipline" me. Meanwhile, he collected guns and ammo and military-oriented magazines. I'll admit, he was a disturbed individual - he was abusive in other ways. But I don't think his interests in guns and the military helped matters. And when he was sixteen, angry at my father for leaving our mother, and not getting along with my step-mother, he killed them. This event has informed my stance on gun control, especially when guns are so accessible to the mentally disturbed, which has resulted in so many mass shootings.

In my current environment, I've come to realize that not all individuals with such interests are mentally unhealthy. My step-father collects guns and keeps them in the house, and often watches documentaries on war and military machines. Hell, it seems almost as if everyone in Missouri has a gun. But the overproduction of guns - especially assault weapons whose entire purpose is to kill people - in this country disturbs me. We have more guns manufactured than children born in the United States every day. It makes me want to move to another country or, at the very least, another state. My goal is to move back to the Pacific Northwest, but for the meantime, because of certain factors, I'm stuck in Missouri, as an advocate of greater gun control, as much as it's opposed by those around me.

I have released the single Pulses Intertwined in dedication of victims and survivors of gun violence. It is now available at Amazon, Google Play, Apple Music and iTunes, Spotify, TIDAL, Deezer, YouTube and YouTube Music, iHeartRadio, and Napster. If you'd like to directly support me and my art, consider buying the single at my Snail Tunes store. Purchases include high-quality downloads in a format of your choosing - from standard MP3 to lossless audio - as well as unlimited streaming at Bandcamp and on the free-with-purchase Bandcamp app (both of which are great tools for discovering new or overlooked music). A three-track version, with two new songs in a similar vein, "Dark Highways" and "Pierced Heart," is also available to Patrons of my Patreon. Remember, pledges at my Patreon aren't collected until after I release a new EP or album, which I'm predicting won't be until February. And Dialectical Observations (Remastered) is now slated to be a reward for those pledging $10 USD or more.

I'd like to switch gears to discuss record labels, as mine just sent me two new contracts. When Legends of the Small was released, I was informed that Rehegoo Music would only be taking new songs, exclusively, and that non-exclusive artists, such as myself, would only be featured on the Rehegoo streaming platform. They've changed their policies drastically since I signed my initial contract. And the new contracts are designed to further diminish the advantages of being a non-exclusive artist and direct me toward exclusivity. I'm seeing no advantages to publishing through them under my current contract, and I'm wondering why I would send them any songs. My distributor that I currently publish independently through even offers more stores and streaming platforms. I'm thinking it's time I cut off my relationship with Rehegoo Music. This first experiment with a label, which I was reticent about in the first place, seems to be a failure. It doesn't mean I'm closed off to working with a label in the future, but right now I'm leaning toward the advice of Amanda Palmer: "Don't!" Anyway, I've promised to share with you my experiences as an independent artist, and this is looking to be a bad one.

Meanwhile, my inner snail must remain resilient and determined. I hope yours does the same.

Oh, I almost forgot to leave you with a little something special! Here's one my newest songs, "Pierced Heart," one of the two additional tracks on the extended Pulses Intertwined available at my Patreon. Enjoy! and good-bye for now.

Pattern Recognition

Today was the first day I had to wear a hoodie to smoke and read outside, signaling that Summer has truly ended and Fall is here. And it has been nearly fourteen months since my last full-length album, Dialectical Observations. It used to be that I released albums and EPs at a steady clip, even full-length albums multiple times a year, but now I spend more time with my songs, mostly more time in the editing process. I don't just fire out rough drafts and then alter them later on with a string of Alternate Spins; I try to publish only final drafts. Sometimes I'll try something different later, but I'd like to think of every song as solid before I put it out there. And that translates to the EPs and albums. Everything is much more deliberate, and so the steps to this albums, Neoclassism and With Love, Catatonia, were also far apart.

I try to release my works on dates of significant importance to me. Neoclassism was on the anniversary of my debut EP; With Love, Catatonia was on my brother's birthday. First I was hoping to release this album on the anniversary of Dialectical Observations, but that wasn't at all likely; I needed at least another month. So I hoped to have it out on my birthday, August 31st. That also seemed unlikely, but as it turned out, I could have. However, I had already announced the September 21st release date. Why September 21st? Because that was the first date to pop into my head. Not for any special reason, it was just my first thought, and it gave me the breathing room that I've come to desire surrounding my releases. It gives me more time to spend with them, to make last-minute changes, to really focus on the editing process. But I didn't do much editing following my birthday. I listened to it what seemed like hundreds of times, and I hardly changed a thing. It seemed solid. I was confident of it. And I'm happy with the final product, and very happy to share it.

The reasons it took so long to compose aren't limited to a more deliberate songwriting process; I also have had less time to devote to music. This is a good thing. I'm more able-bodied than I've been in a long time. When I started self-publishing music, I was largely couch-bound following an intense hospitalization, and I felt like I had nothing left to lose, and there was nothing for it - why not put my art out there? And that started the ball rolling on what I hoped to be a career as a solo composer. I've turned it into a career - it's my real work. Everything else is secondary. But there is now more to my life than this. Foremost is that I'm able to help out around a small "farm," lending my septuagenarian parents a hand. I'm still adjusting and desensitizing to a severe case of neuropathy; I can't take walking for granted and my hands are destroyed by simple labor. Earlier I was weeding the vegetable garden, and now it hurts to type slowly. But I can do it, and that's the important thing. It means I probably don't have a future as a performing musician, but I can compose, and I love it.

For this album, I composed five all-new, original tunes. First among them was "Android with a God Complex," stemming from a half-finished song that I'd been blocked on for quite a while. I started it even before writing With Love, Catatonia, maybe even before Neoclassism. I mean, it goes way back. I'd recorded an intro, strings arrangements, an acoustic guitar line, and some wild beats, all of which I loved. But I couldn't figure out what to do next, and I was stuck on the bass line. I couldn't write one that fit. And it wasn't until I gave up on it that the song started to move forward. I quit banging my head against that wall and discovered what came next by experimenting with some synths. There was already a clearly electronic whine going through it all, but in absence of a bass riff, I added in some buzzing bass synth, which has admittedly become a favorite of mine, and you'll find it in others of my recent songs. But with that and my recurring electronic soprano "vocals," I found an interim that allowed for further variations of the strings arrangements and acoustic guitar that I'd already written. And the vocals take center stage for a moment, as does some electric guitar, and I had the pieces of a whole song that just needed some further accompaniment, some editing, and some rearranging.

When naming this song, I tried a couple titles inspired by the strings arrangements, such as "Tetrarchy" (in reference to the string quartet and its focus of the overall tune) but I'd jotted down "Android with a God Complex" as a thought for a song title a while ago. I'd really been wanting to use it, and it seemed drawn to this song. Ir had seemed more appropriate that the title be used for something a bit more electronic, but I finally gave in. The electronics underscoring the more organic sounds, and momentarily take center stage, seemed appropriate enough to suggest an anthropomorphic artificial intelligence.

I should mention that the title was originally inspired by the character David in the films Prometheus and Alien: Covenant.

Now, I'd also had this beat I'd composed that I loved - some banging around with some clinking and clanging on my "Chinese" drum kit - but was having a hard time accompanying it with anything more. I'd tried some synths inspired after what I'd used in "The Tranquil Isles," overlaid with either strings and electric guitar, or piano, and named them "Blame the Meds," with different versions. The title was attached to the beats; the versions were various failed attempts. I say "failed" because I never really wanted to share them. At best, they'd be rarities available to Patreon patrons. But I wasn't too enamored with them.

Fast forward to a time when I had a simple acoustic guitar riff stuck in my head that I recorded, then dicked around with. My "vocals" made a return, and organically transitioned to a flowing cello. I harmonized with it, then layered them all together for a finale, and I had a whole song written, though very minimalist. I felt compelled to add further tracks of instrumentation, but didn't know what, really. Something rhythmic. I already had some subtle rhythmic synths in there, but I wanted something that suggested a beat. But I wasn't sure I really wanted a beat; maybe something a bit more eccentric, for an already eccentric song. That's when it hit me - a random whim to try the "Blame the Meds" beats underneath. So I did, and wha'd'ya know? It worked perfectly. But this wasn't going to be another "Blame the Meds." No, it was going to be "A Neon Blue Soul."

When I felt the album deserved a piano intro, I thought of a short, melancholy piano ditty I'd recorded one night. What should follow? Well, it seemed that segueing into that eccentric beat was the way to go. So "The Lonely Pianist" (as my melancholy ditty came to be known) and "Neon Blue" stuck as the way to kick off the album.

"Heart of Hearts" was one of those songs that seemed to come all at once, and was written in a very short time. So was "Probing." They just sort of flooded out, starting out with riffs that got stuck in my head, both on keys (though I switched "Heart"s' keys to a "strings" synth), and every accompaniment and next movement, every progression, came organically and almost immediately. Of course, I spent a lot of time editing each, but the rough drafts came quickly. And the titles kind of just popped into my head.

I knew "Power Time Gravity Love" wouldn't be included on the album unless I made some changes, so I devoted some time to closely reexamining it. I edited some of the beats. I tried rewriting some of the viola and violin. Nothing impressed me. Nothing was really working. So I said "to hell with it" and scrapped everything but the cello and synths. It was time for a complete overhaul. I started from scratch on the beats, and it was upon doing that, and letting the first iteration of the cello melody be solo, that things started to come together. The new beats started off inspired by the old, but then I found myself inspired by both "The Last Waltz" and "Winter's Salve (Siren's Call)." I went with something that was a bit hip-hoppy and also a bit of a march. I was really into it. And as I wrote it, I also made another go at the viola and violin, and they just sort of occurred to me. It was like, once I got on a roll, everything started to finally come together!

What I ended up with, I didn't want to simply call an "Alternate Spin," because I had, like, 75% new material. No, I transposed two words in the title to signify that it was almost a different entity - and "Gravity Time Power Love" was assembled and just awaiting the editing process, which was somewhat grueling (I went through about nine drafts) but, I think, worth it.

"Misplaced Romanticism" always had some uncertainties, but I really wanted it on the album. There was an alternate way I was hearing the cello in my head, and I thought it worked as well as the other, so I went ahead and recorded it to share it. I was really uncertain of the viola part. I played around with it and played around with it, until I landed on something that worked for me. Now, I won't say this version of the song is better than the original. It's just...different. Different enough to warrant the "Alternate Spin" qualifier.

I knew I wanted bonus tracks, presumably for the Patreon Artist's Edition. I didn't know if I'd have new songs ready by the publication date. I did, however, have ideas on alternate song versions to share. I'd already recorded "The Lonely Pianist" with some simple swelling-and-fading cello, inspired by a recent listen to the Felina (or Felina's Arrow) album Let Me Tell You a Story, but I'd done away with it for the album intro. It seemed like something that should be heard, so I tacked it on at the end. More inspired was the idea to try out a stripped-down version of "Why Can't We Have Nice Things?" The piano alone could make for a complete, well-rounded song, but I was going for just an "acoustic" version. I initially cut out everything but the piano and strings tracks, then played around with what else should be included. The acoustic guitar chords worked, adding the right emphasis to the beginning of the song, at the very least. Even the riff in the second half worked, helping build toward the climax. The bassoon was out - too intrusive. The bowed bass worked well enough, and subtly enough, to provide its emphasis. The synths took away from the acoustic feel, even though the electric bass somehow didn't. I did let a synth in at the end, though. It was subtle enough, and helped with the eerie quality closing the song.

Feeling completely enamored with this "Naked" version of "Why Can't We Have Nice Things?" I really wanted to share it, and so decided that an exclusive Snail Tunes version at my Bandcamp store should be available, with "Nice Things? (Naked)" and "The Lonely Pianist (and Cellist)" as bonus tracks at the end. That way they'd be publicly available, instead of limited to Patreon Patrons - people can even stream them a limited number of times at Bandcamp, to sample them. 

I did have a few songs flood out of me during the month I gave myself to let the album matriculate, and so I had additional bonus tracks for my Patreon Artist's Edition. Those I included are a piano-led post-industrial rush reminiscent of "The Cloud Walkers," called "Pulses Intertwined;" and a simple, relaxing series of iterations of a piano melody, with some ambient synths, I call "Toes." See, I had started another song I called "Twinkle" and so jokingly called this song "Toes," but the name just stuck as it grew on me.

The Patreon Artist's Edition also has the usual individual track art, this time - yet again - from works by Cyril Rolando. The Artist's Edition, with a PDF booklet of album art and liner notes, is now a pledge reward for patrons of my Patreon.

I had the title of this album picked out pretty early on. I had already moved on from cognitive behavioral therapy to dialectical behavioral therapy in the mental health department, and I didn't really know where to go from there, but looking back on it, pattern recognition is a cognitive function, and sort of fits with the theme I've been going with for album names. Still, pattern recognition spans a large array of subjects, and it's just a concept that fascinates me. But I have to admit, the name mostly comes from my favorite William Gibson novel, and it's mostly an homage to one of my favorite authors.

Pattern Recognition is now available at YouTube Music, Spotify, Google Play, Apple Music and iTunes, Amazon, iHeartRadio, Napster, Deezer, TIDAL, and probably others I'm not aware of (my distributor has a huge list of stores and streaming platforms it submits to).

Okay, I've been listening to the album again as a bit of a refresher, first while writing my last Facebook and Google Plus posts for the day, and now as I've been finishing up this article. And the album's just about done - actually, "Pulses Intertwined" just started, so I won't be able to close my computer until that song (which is still fresh, and I'm currently addicted to) is over. But I'm going to consider this blog article done. I hope you all enjoy the album. It's been a pleasure to work on, even a pleasure to listen to hundreds of times, and I hope you'll listen to it again and again, as well. Until next time, may your inner snails remain resilient and determined!

P.S. I almost forgot to leave you with a special exclusive! Here's one of my new songs, which can be downloaded by Patreon Patrons. Enjoy!

Nothing Left To Lose, Part Two

It's a sunny, beautiful Sunday, and even though it's almost brutally hot, I'm working outside, waiting for the coffee to finish brewing. Last night, I opened a tab to "new post" here, so that I would stop forgetting to write this article. It's been a while in coming, as I was thwarted in publishing this album at my store by a dead computer in need of a new charger, and now it's been a few days - like a week - since I got it up there. I've also been struggling with a lack of motivation. There was quite a while after With Love, Catatonia during which I wasn't even writing new music; normally, I'd have songs lined up even while promoting for a new EP or album. The songs have been slow in coming these days. I am, however, starting to diligently make it a practice that I'll work on music every day, no matter what aspect. Even writing this article counts (posting on social media, however, does not). Originally it was a goal to have a new full-length album ready for publication by July 30th, the anniversary of Elemental and Dialectical Observations. Now I've pushed it back to the more likely and looser time period of sometime-this-winter.

This album was also a little slow in coming. To be frank I'm not that impressed with my new label, Rehegoo, so far. I'm sticking with it because I want the full experience (and if there's a chance of licensing my music to a third party, then it might be worth it) but I've yet to see much in the way of promotion for Nothing Left To Lose, Part One and I had to get on their ass to get Part Two published. However, they have put both "The Seventh Swan" and "Wrong Pocket Kinda Day" - both from this half of the album, somewhat ironically - on compilation albums that, from what I can see, has totally boosted the awareness of those songs, and in turn, my music.

So, to get you up to speed: Nothing Left To Lose has been a long time gestating, from my very first EP. The track list has been tested in some form or other, mostly on my Patreon patrons, over the past three years. I finally drew a line in the sand as to what could be included after the EP Elemental, focusing mainly on the essentials from my first five albums, and I decided it needed to be limited to twenty tracks - a difficult feat, as I had produced somewhere over a hundred songs. But a demo was locked into place for a good while, and I was waiting for some occasion to publish it. I'd hoped to put it out on physical media, like CDs and vinyl. I'm still a ways off from my being able to fund that independently. But hey, I'm no longer entirely independent! I decided signing on with a label was just the catalyst needed for publication.

Without planning to, it seems I put most of the "hits" (on regular radio rotation) on the first half. There's still some songs, on here, that are being played by one station or another. "Wrong Pocket Kinda Day," "The Seventh Swan," and "Matriculating" still pop up every now and then on indie radio. And "The Cloud Walkers" and "Fistfuls of Whimsy" had their time in the sun. I think of the former three as being more radio-friendly ambient pop, while the latter two are more esoteric and epic in nature. So there's half of this second part of the album that has seen mass exposure - nothing to sneer at. Oh, I almost forgot about "The Nocturnal Dervish." It was my most popular song for quite a while, and it also saw some airplay on Darkwave Radio, the first station to play my music.

I guess "Dervish" makes a good segue to briefly go over each song on the track list. "Dervish" started life as a dark piano ballad called "Dusk Devils." After a stepping-stone remix called the "Whirlwind Mix" (now an extreme rarity) I made a more successful "Nocturnal Dervish" mix, which soared to relative popularity on Soundcloud, and was one of my first to be put into regular radio rotation. I'm not sure which was first anymore - "Slowly Scooting Closer" and "The Last Waltz" also made their way onto Darkwave Radio at about the same time. I'm getting ahead of myself, though. The "Dervish" mix greatly overshadowed its source material, so much that I began to regard it as its own separate entity. That's when its name was shortened from "Dusk Devils (Nocturnal Dervish Mix)" to simply "The Nocturnal Dervish."

Quite some time had passed that when I listened to it, some flaws began to glare at me; mostly the convoluted multi-layered drum tracks. Overlaying multiple drum machines has become a regular technique of mine, but this was one of the first times I employed it, if not the first. But it was sounding so overly busy to me that I decided to simplify it, specifically for the Nothing Left To Lose demo. The Instrumentality Project, on which it was later included, was partly an excuse to make it public. I think I may have gone overboard in writing some additional instrumentation. I thought it very subtle, but I think I should have perhaps stuck with simplifying the beats. Maybe someday I'll simplify the "Simplified" mix.

Track 02 ("Matriculating") on this collection was one of those early, unintentional happy accidents in which a song with more pop sensibilities found itself tweaked by metal aspects. It doesn't fall completely into an urgent rush of industrial-metal like "Wrong Pocket Kinda Day," but like "The Seventh Swan" it found that metal-ish electric guitars were a natural progression. This has, like the overlaid drum tracks, started to become a regular writing style of mine. But back then, it was always a fun surprise to me when it would happen, seemingly of its own accord.

Since I just kind of covered tracks 04 ("The Seventh Swan") and 05 ("Wrong Pocket Kinda Day") I'll just comment that "Day" was named for when things take a wrong turn during a so-far perfect day, while "Swan" named itself, and I imagine its namesake to be some kind of faery tale character.

Now, track 03 ("A Different Story") was a completely foreign writing experience, a style that I haven't really reproduced since. It's origin was an attempt to create a rhythm section entirely out of tweaked synths. Some bass and drums were added as a natural step later, but what I had accomplished was something that sort of sounds like "R2-D2 being tortured," as my mom put it. Then, curiously, I wrote an almost neoclassical interplay of piano and acoustic guitar over it. I guess I sort of repeated the experiment, and ended up with a similar piano-and-acoustic-guitar overlay, with Dialectical Observations' "Man Seeking Cocoon," but they're really not the same. "Story" was something really different for me, and that's where it got its name, as I was then relating my music to stories in my head. That's something I kind of miss - associating songs with the faery tales in my mind. I've been hoping to do more short story writing to get back into that groove.

Moving on to track 06 ("Cold Sunlight"): I'd been attempting to write something jazzy that got shelved for some time, then began to turn into psychedelic rock when I picked it up again. It just so happened that I was listening to what I had thus far, outside and smoking on a sunny winter's day. I began to croon about what I was seeing and experiencing, then immediately began to write it down as lyrics. There were some rhymes and lines that were thrown out, but I began to incorporate a new stanza with every next few measures of music I wrote. Similar to Jaded's "Mr. Douter," I found myself writing lyrics and instrumentation simultaneously, which seems to be the method of writing songs with vocals-and-verse that works best for me. This was my most successful attempt at such a song, and it even earned some attention from an indie radio host and reviewer. So, it's notable and I feel an essential tune from my repertoire.

Seven is a magical number to me, and it just so happens that I considered track 07, "The Cloud Walkers," to be my finest achievement for quite a while. So yeah, it had to be a part of this collection. It was informed by writing styles that I was just starting to explore, and it contained some methods that have since become regularly used in my songwriting. I wanted a dark piano ballad with a sort of industrial-metal quality, and I ended up writing something kind of epic. It was my longest song up to that point, yet it didn't feel drawn out anywhere. There's some of that interplay of piano and acoustic guitar, and it's one of my first experiments with the inclusion of electric guitars. I felt I had really outdone myself, and I was afraid that I would never surpass it. Now I feel as though I have, with songwriting techniques that have evolved and become more polished. But it all owes quite a lot to "The Cloud Walkers."

I may have published it prematurely in my desire to share it, though. I kept on toying with it for a little while afterward, and found myself switching around some arrangements, adding a little bit, and subtly changing the ending. A more settled version was published on a no-longer-available EP called Selenophilia. When that EP was pulled from shelves, it wasn't available for a while. It was essential it get back out there. I republished it on my fifth album, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and now it's integral to representing my discography.

Track 08 ("The Tranquil Isles") was originally inspired by the more ambient works of my favorite band, Tool - "Right in Two," in particular. That's where the rhythmic synths came from; the rest was formed around a wandering acoustic guitar melody. I found myself thinking of the Sea of Tranquility when writing this song, that it might make a good setting in the adventures of my mascot, the Snail. I tried the Latin name, but that didn't quite sit well with me. Instead, I found a trail of islands forming in my imagination similar to the settings of the adventures in C.S. Lewis' Voyage of the Dawn Treader. So that's where the Snail found Itself instead.

The lullaby of "Isles" has been the perfect ending for many mixes of my music that I came up with, as well as others in general, but I found myself juggling three songs that I felt would be a perfect way to end Nothing Left To Lose. "Microcosms" is short, sweet, and simple. "Fistfuls of Whimsy" is epic, and its latter half is one of the most perfect pieces of music I've written. I tried several combinations of these songs for the ending, kind of hoping that it would decompress and fade with "Isles." But the natural progression had other ideas. Instead, I went from a lullaby to a neoclassical ballad to a post-rock epic. Maybe it works out best this way. Whatever, it's what ended up sticking in the demo, and that's how it was ultimately published.

Rehegoo has published Nothing Left To Lose, Part Two at all the usual suspects, including Spotify, Google Play, Apple Music/iTunes, Amazon, Napster, and TIDAL. Once I've finished my Facebook and Google Plus Jukebox posts for each of its songs, I'll post a playlist at my YouTube channel. Since I most likely have all the songs posted at my Soundcloud, I may round them up into playlists there as well. Of course, the best and most direct way to support me and my art is through the link in the embedded player, or you can pledge at my Patreon and get Nothing Left To Lose as a downloadable reward, along with many others.

That's about it for now. I'm hoping it will cool off enough this evening that I'll brave working on mastering a full draft of my latest tune. That will put me one step closer to completing a new album and releasing new music to y'all. I sense you shivering with anticipation. Until then, may your inner snails remain resilient and determined.